World’s Tallest Rabbit Stolen From English Garden, World’s Best Pet Detective on Case

Darius the Rabbit’s life reads like an English drama. Raised in Stoulton, a few hours north of London, the prized hare wormed his way into the Guinness Record books by growing a whopping four feet four inches long. While riding the high of international acclaim, tragedy struck after his son Simon was mysteriously killed on a United Airlines flight to Chicago O’Hare (no pun intended). Now, it looks as though misfortune has sprung again with Darius’s disappearance from his garden home. Authorities are crying foul.

Owner Annette Edwards is pleading for her bunny’s safe return, wanting nothing more than for the champ to spend his twilight years in peace. Though her reward of $2,750 pales in comparison to other recent petnappings, her love of rabbits goes beyond your average breeder. The former Playboy Bunny once had plastic surgery to look like Jessica Rabbit, making this strangest rabbit tale we’ve ever heard.

Despite the high-profile weirdness, professional pet detective, Robert Kenny is keeping his cool. He suspects the thieves staked out the area well ahead of time, hoping to score big on the rising popularity of giant rabbits.

“If the animal remains in the UK, I have no doubt whatsoever that it has to be recovered,” Kenny said. “The owner needs to contact ferry ports and make sure that this rabbit does not go outside of the UK… [the case] is still hot.”

Hopefully, the thieves come to their senses and realize stealing rabbits is not a huge moneymaking endeavor. Edwards says she has spent more than $7,000 just to feed Darius. By comparison, she’s sold his progeny for as little as $350 a pop. Using some advanced calculations, one might even say giant hares are a money rabbit hole, leading us to believe this may be a crime of passion.

With Darius on the verge of death-by-old-age, we sincerely hope he finds his place in the sun before it’s too late. And we’re asking the public for help. If you happen to be dining in the greater London area and come across a suspiciously large cut of rabbit, you may want to phone the police (as soon as you finish your dinner).

Cover Photo: picture alliance (Getty Images)

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