Florida

Meanwhile in Florida: Police Arrest Pastor for Holding Church Services Despite Stay-at-Home Order, God Washes His Hands of Florida

There’s a reason why we’re supposed to have a separation between church and state. The biggest reason, of course, is that a lot of church folk are pretty wacky. There’s the Jerry Falwell school that reopened…until kids started getting sick. There’s the televangelist who yelled at the coronavirus and told it to get on its belly and worship the Lord, before declaring the disease was “finished.” And then, there’s this guy: a pastor named Rodney Howard-Browne (no doubt, he took his wife’s last name but still wanted his own, hence the hyphen) who refused to close the church services of his Tampa, Florida church “until the End Times begin.”

Well, the end came a lot sooner for Howard-Browne, as police arrested the man of (a questionable) God, charging him with unlawful assembly and a violation of health emergency rules. Howard-Browne actually prayed in the White House with Donald Trump back in 2017, so it was surprising that he would so blatantly disregard a direct order from the man who many believe is the second coming of Jesus himself. In addition to keeping his church doors open, the good pastor was also keeping his Bible school open because, in his words, “we are raising up revivalists; not pansies.”

So, Florida has about 5,200 “pansies” (i.e. people infected with coronavirus), 62 of whom have died. Perhaps they just didn’t go to church enough. Regardless, law enforcement officials gave the pastor and his church ample opportunity to close services before it resulted in an arrest, but they ignored those decrees like Adam still choosing to bite the fruit even though God specifically told him that’s the one thing he couldn’t do. Luckily for Pastor Howard-Browne, churches love martyrs, so this should make for one heck of a sermon once the church is allowed to legally operate again.

Cover Photo: Hernando County Jail

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