Amazon Making Its Move Into Malls, Hot Selling Items Include Slinkies, Cassettes and the Walkman Your Friend Stole

Weird flex, but OK, Amazon. The online retailer is in talks with Simon Property Group to buy up empty space in malls once occupied by JCPenney and Sears, both of which have filed for bankruptcy. Amazon’s plans for the 74 spaces Simon currently holds? To turn ‘em into distribution hubs for all that crap you buy.

The move is meant to facilitate Amazon’s one-day delivery strategy by putting products closer to consumers. Because malls tend to be nearer to residential areas than warehouses, this would speed up order fulfillment.

What surprises us most about this plan is that malls still exist. Sure, in the ‘80s and ‘90s, those multi-storied retail meccas were the place to see and be seen, but now they’re more like ghost towns. If Amazon comes in and takes over, what was once a mall will just become another warehouse, albeit a bougie one.

Since this seems like such a backward business plan, we might as well indulge our time-traveling fantasies. What’d be really cool is if Amazon opened mall storefronts to house all our nostalgic ‘80s novelties – bring on the Slinkies, cassettes, and Walkmans, please!

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