Latest Democratic Debate Looked Like Pay-Per-View Fight With No Winner, Other Than Donald Trump

The Democratic presidential candidates proved once again that our country is effed on Tuesday night as the Democratic debate-turned-shouting-match-turned-shitshow took place in South Carolina. As the current frontrunner, Bernie Sanders was on the defensive. The Vermont senator was grilled on how he would pay for his Medicare For All plan (no freakin’ clue), tried to spin the praise he’s heaped on the late Cuban dictator and all-around baddie Fidel Castro by saying Obama did it first, and made a not-very-scary threat at Vladimir Putin. Joe Biden walked us all down memory lane like a nostalgic senior citizen with his past (and increasingly stale) achievements in winding stories that lost our attention halfway through. Elizabeth Warren did a broken-record rendition of her demand that former mayor Mike Bloomberg release women from NDAs so we could hear just how bad his misogynistic jokes really are. Pete Buttigieg played Captain Obvious by reminding everyone that there were seven white people on the stage (at least he knows his colors and numbers). Billionaire Tom Steyer got called to the carpet for buying a private prison and Amy Klobuchar, who literally just won’t quit, boomed her usual variation on, “Why can’t we all just get along?!” Political analysts agreed: everyone was a loser in this group. If this geriatric (overeager toddler Buttigieg exempted) smackdown doesn’t stop soon (there’s at least one more round in March), the only winner will be Donald Trump.

Cover Photo: Paul Hennessy / Echoes WIre/Barcroft Media (Getty Images)

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