Brad Pitt Surprises Essential Workers, But Terrifies Everyone With His Wired Headphones

Brad Pitt can do no wrong. From his resume of high-profile acting roles, his bromance with Leonardo DiCaprio, his humanitarian work, or the string of high-quality partners that he has dated and/or married, Brad Pitt has continually proven himself to be better than each and every one of us.

Never was this more evident than during Harry Connick Jr.’s CBS special, United We Sing: A Grammy Tribute to the Unsung Heroes. Yeah so, about that. For some reason, these days, celebrities seem to think that in order to “heal the world,” they need to record themselves singing songs or telling all of us that they’re not racist or whatever. It’s a weird trend that has come about during the coronavirus pandemic. Do we clap for the multi-million dollar stars who absolutely aren’t struggling the way the rest of us are? Do we thank them for taking the time to record a three-minute black and white video that, in all honesty, we’re not really even going to watch?

But we digress. The point is, Brad Pitt joined a slew of celebrities for this primetime special to offer thanks and appreciation to essential workers. In this case, Pitt surprised a sanitation worker named Darnell Rudolph. Pitt thanked Rudolph for what he does and even asked about the guy’s family — a super classy gesture that Rudolph will undoubtedly hold dear to his heart forever. But nobody is asking one very important question.

Why the fuck is Brad Pitt wearing wired headphones? Seriously. The dude is so rich he could probably afford to just embed headphones into his brain but, instead, he’s sitting around like one of us regular people, with headphones he could’ve purchased from Wal-Mart. What is this, 1993? Actually, it might very well be, as Pitt’s long hair and supernaturally boyish good looks made him resemble himself from ’93’s True Romance. Regardless, Pitt continues to prove that he is better than all of us, but he does it in such a way that all we want to do is hang out with him and talk about the ribs that we grilled last weekend.

Cover Photo: CBS

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