pizza rolls

The Pandemic Supply Chain Shortage Has Come For Our Pizza Rolls (Covid Has Officially Gone Too Far)

The pandemic has taken so much from us over the past two years. Our health, our jobs, our sanity, our sex lives. And now, our pizza rolls. Covid has officially gone too far and can fuck right off, thankyouverymuch.

Yes, we’re sad to report that supply chain issues have disrupted the flow of Totino’s pizza rolls to your grocer’s freezer. And now we have nothing to live for. Or at least nothing with which to binge-eat the pain away.

According to Today Food, “General Mills, the parent company behind Pillsbury and Totino’s, recently revealed that it’s struggling to keep up with demand for the two brands’ dough products, citing supply chain issues and distribution center delays.”

The company claims that supply should improve within the next few months, but we honestly don’t know how we’re going to get through the next few days if we don’t satisfy our pizza roll cravings. We need those poppable, piping hot nuggets of cheese and preservative-packed meats to keep functioning in a post-pandemic world we hardly recognize.

Besides, haven’t we suffered enough? There’s been a pepperoni shortage, a ketchup shortage, a cream cheese shortage, and even a Lunchables shortage. As avid junk food consumers, we can’t take it anymore!

Let’s all join together and petition the government to dole out boxes of pizza rolls like they do N95 masks. It seems only fair given what we’ve been through the past two years.

Cover Photo: Totino’s



// ad on openWeb