onion rings

Meanwhile in France: Cocaine Smugglers Use Your Favorite Bar Food to Mule 900 Pounds of Drugs, As If Our Drinking Wasn’t Problem Enough

Photo: Bruce Twitchell / EyeEm (Getty Images)

In the pantheon of bar foods, it’s really difficult to beat fried foods. Sure, we’ll grab slices of pieces two at a time if a bar serves them, but the real stomach coating foods we need before (and during) a night of heavy drinking are things like cheeseburgers, French fries, mozzarella sticks, and definitely breaded, crunchy, salty onion rings. This is especially true of the latter. We don’t care where they come from, we don’t care that they’re often frozen, we just want to eat as many as possible. That’s why we were so bummed when we heard about an onion ring shipment in France that never made its way to hungry bar-goers.

This story does have a twist. It’s not just that a shipment of onion rings didn’t make it to its intended final location, leaving fans of crispy, fried foods sad and hungry. French authorities stopped a truck headed for the UK. Inside, they found a 922-found shipment of cocaine, hidden in boxes of onion rings.

For those who don’t know the street value of cocaine, French authorities seized $44 million worth of the white, powdery drug. A man named Piotr Perzenowski was arrested at the scene and charged with smuggling the ridiculous shipment. He’s scheduled to be arraigned in December.

While we’re glad French border agents were able to stop this massive amount of cocaine from hitting the streets, we’re left wondering what will become of the onion rings. Can they just dust them off and send them on their way?

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