10 Insanely Inventive Ways to Crack Open a Beer Bottle (That Don’t End With Janky Teeth)
Photo: Niklas Storm / EyeEm (Getty Images)
If you’ve been to college or you have any friends who are known for making unwise decisions to entertain others, you’ve likely met someone who enjoys opening a twist-top beer bottle with their teeth. As people who understand the importance of teeth, we could never understand these people. While they might believe they’re superhuman and the gasps from the approving audience might be worth it, dentists (and everyone with common sense) will tell you not to do this.
In fact, one of the main causes of broken and chipped teeth (and expensive dentist bills) is because they decided to use their chompers for something they’re really not intended for. Your show-off friend might not realize that every time they’re cracking open a cold beer for an ecstatic audience of coeds, they’re making their teeth weaker and potentially creating small cracks that can lead to pains in both your mouth and your wallet.
Lucky for you, there are many other ingenious (non-teeth ruining) ways to open a beer bottle. Below you’ll find 10 of our favorites.
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If you happen to have fairly strong, muscled biceps, you can hold the bottle in the elbow pit as you squeeze your muscles together. Hold the bottle tight in your hand and the twist top should come right off as you unflex.
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This one is truly ingenious. If you have a twist-off beer, hold it in one hand and use the other hand to twist off the top. It’s amazing the mechanical ability of the human body, right?
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A belt buckle.
If you’re some kind of urban cowboy (or a rural cowboy or hipster), a belt buckle is a perfect tool for opening a beer. Simply place the beer cap, tilted forward, under the buckle, and twist up to a world of refreshment.
Photo: Flash Parker (Getty Images)
You’ve likely seen videos of people using swords to slice off the top of the wine and champagne bottles. Did you know that you can also saber a beer bottle? Tilt the bottle slightly and, using one quick motion, slice the top off using a machete or champagne saber. Just don’t try to drink out of the jagged top afterward.
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If you happen to have a lighter handy, you can use it to open that tricky bottle of pilsner. Simply hold the bottleneck, only leaving a tiny amount of space to fit the lighter in between your index finger and the ridge of the cap. Use your free hand to push the lighter down and the cap will come off.
Photo: Heinz Tschanz-Hofmann / EyeEm (Getty Images)
Use another beer.
You can open the cap on one beer by using another beer as a pivot point like you’d use a bottle opener. It’s simple and effective. The only problem is that you have to use another way to open the last beer.
Photo: Junjira Konsang / EyeEm (Getty Images)
If you’re married, your wedding ring is mostly just a decoration to tell the world that you’re taken. But, it can also be used to crack open a cold one. Put your hand over the bottle before placing the underside of your beloved ring under the cap. Simply tilt the bottle up and pull.
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Your eye socket.
Obviously, this only works with a twist-off bottle. Also, it’s really not advised as it could cause damage to your eye or eye socket. But, if you have a really strong eye, you can jam it shut around a bottle and twist it off. Again, we really don’t think you should try this one.
Photo: Roy Hsu (Getty Images)
A picnic table or countertop.
You better be good at this or not care about your countertops. That’s why this one works best outside on picnic tables. Simply place the ridge of the cap right on top of the countertop, hold onto the bottle tight and slam down on it with your hand. The top should pop off. If you do it wrong, the bottle will shatter. In this case, find a different way to get it open.
Photo: Compassionate Eye Foundation/Steven Errico (Getty Images)
You might not have a proper bottle opener on your keychain. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t have something you can use to open a bottle. In a pinch, a key will do. Stick it under the cap and pull up to pop the top off.
Photo: Image Source (Getty Images)
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