Burger King Gets ‘Healthy’ and Goes Meatless, Confuses the Point of Going At All
Photo: bowie15 (Getty Images)
We know what you’re thinking: Weren’t those burgers “meatless” to begin with?
As food science accelerates, the meatless trend has hit full stride, creating a debate between what is good for the planet and what is good for your taste buds. Never one to think too closely about consequence, Burger King is chasing the plant-based craze with its very own lab-grown burger (do they even know if it’s healthy? Oh, who cares!).
So far, Impossible Whoppers have been flying off the shelves. But has meatless gone too mainstream? Only time will tell if the sodium-heavy lab burger becomes a mainstay of the fast-food menu, but the odds are in its favor. After all, no one expected quinoa to get this far.
Taco Bell Seafood Salad
For fans of seafood and salad...and food poisoning, Taco Bell had the trifecta back in the '80s with the all-in-one Seafood Salad. Unfortunately, the food-poisoning feature didn’t quite catch on with fans of the chain, and our amigos at Taco Bell were forced to shelve their mess of lettuce and bacterial sea chunks, indefinitely.
Obviously there was a boardroom full of geniuses when lightning struck and this hot mess was rolled out at Mickey D’s all across the nation. We’re positive that somewhere in the world there's a Dodge Caravan chugging along the interstate, completely stained with this beautifully misunderstood pasta sauce. Oh, the ‘80s.
Friendly’s Grilled Cheese Burger Melt
The guys at Friendly’s must be a bunch of stoners for cooking up this beef and cheese Frankenstein consisting of two grilled cheese sandwiches enshrining a massive all-beef patty. The end result: three sandwiches in one and a whopping 1,200 calories per 'wich. While most patrons found the greasy sky scraper unappetizing, the few die-hard fans of the burger who fought for its survival immediately had heart attacks and died, hard. Just kidding, they all survived.
The Grilled Cheese Burger Melt on the other hand, did not.
Burger King SatisFries
No stranger to the desperate-pandering-for-more-business game, Burger King released a new item based on a pun back in 2013. As if that wasn’t ludicrously out of touch enough, the hot new item BK threw its weight behind turned out to be the least popular French fry style of all time: the crinkle cut. It was a sad day for fry lovers everywhere, and the king was immediately asked to abdicate the throne.
Don’t know why this failed so miserably. Who doesn’t like lobster? Especially for 99 cents a pound, and handed to you in a paper bag through a small window in the side of a concrete building. The whole thing is a mystery that still boggles the mind.
Fast sickness: Fast Food Facts That Will Stun Your Diet
Stay tuned for our upcoming burger segment where we talk all things burgers.