Drug Dealer Found With Cocaine Tied To His Testicles After Crashing Car Into Fence

Photo: Diy13 (Getty)

James Dean and Jamal Deen are two men with similar names who both crashed their cars, but that’s where the similarities begin and end because we’re pretty sure when they found Dean, he didn’t have bags of booger sugar wrapped around his nut sack.

According to Metro, Jamal Deen sure as shit did when he crashed his Volkswagen Scirocco into a fence on New Year’s Day last year, but he told a court that the cocaine was just for him and in no way was it intended for distribution.

“There’s no way in a million years I’m guilty of that,” Deen told the Worcester Crown Court this week, but that’ll be a tough sell since he “admitted to dealing heroin and cocaine in 2008 and cocaine again in 2013.”

The 37-year-old Deen was searched at the scene of the crash “after police suspected he was ‘away with the fairies’ and 3.5 grams of cocaine was found in a velvet drawstring bag tucked behind his genitals.” The blow tied to his balls was estimated to be worth more than $600.

Obviously, there are more than a few great parts to this story, but perhaps you won’t find anything more amusing that Deen’s response to why he hid the coke behind his beanbag. That response? You guessed it – “It was mine. I wanted to sniff it.”

In a related story, I feel terrific about myself today.

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