Shia LaBeouf Takes ‘Fast Times’ Table Read to Heart, Appears So Stoned He Can Barely Read

So, that happened. The much-hyped Fast Times at Ridgemont High virtual table read, benefiting Sean Penn’s CORE humanitarian organization, was like getting out of school early on a Friday afternoon: the cherry on top of an already spectacular sundae. The internet reacted similarly to Chrissy Teigen, who screen-peeked her husband’s computer only to exclaim, “What the fuck.”

The table read was jam-packed with A-listers: Penn, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston (who flirted and read that iconic masturbation scene together), Julia Roberts, Morgan Freeman (narrating, of course), Matthew McConaughey, John Legend, Jimmy Kimmel, Ray Liotta…and Shia-Fucking-LaBeouf. The latter deserves an expletive because, in an event that featured “Bennifer,” Louis Stevens stole the show.

Scratch that. He’s no longer Louis Stevens, he’s an absolute legend. Tasked with playing Penn’s surfer-dude/stoner character from the original film, Jeff Spicoli, LaBeouf got into character by getting blazed. While the other celebrities basked in the niceties of virtual chat, LaBeouf could be seen in his truck, eyes glazed over, jamming to tunes via Airpods, not a care or worry in the world. If ever there was a vibe, that vibe would be dubbed Shia.

Shia is notorious for his application of method acting in films such as Fury and The Tax Collector, but this was something else. He took this table read to heart in a way no one else did. At times he appeared so stoned it left the viewer in a state of panic: would he be able to read his lines? Speak? Not only did he speak, but he also appeared to have his lines memorized.

When it wasn’t his turn to speak, LaBeouf, or rather Spicoli (at that point), partied like it was 1982. LaBeouf even had the usually-stoic Penn cracking up. Those who didn’t find LaBeouf amusing, like Ray Liotta’s “you just shat on my porch” face, will be forgotten in the annals of history. On Friday, LaBeouf made history. If there was an Oscar for Best Virtual Table Read, Shia LaBeouf would have won it.

Cover Photo: CORE

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