What Her Favorite Drink Says About How Your Relationship Will End
Not many people begin a relationship with someone assuming it will end badly. If that was the case, why would you bother? Breakups tend to take us by surprise, often in the most brutal way. But what if there were a simple (though not remotely scientific) way to tell how your relationship would end? Well, we think there is. It’s called your girlfriend’s favorite drink. Here’s what her adult beverage of choice says about how your relationship will end.
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Dark 'N' Stormy
This rum and ginger beer-based cocktail might seem delicious, but if your girlfriend likes this cocktail best, it means you’re in for a spicy, stormy end to your relationship that you won’t soon forget. And by stormy we mean that she'll add a jolt of electricity by throwing a toaster at you when you're in the shower.
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This might seem like the most normal cocktail choice ever. It’s simple, clean, classic...and very telling. That’s because if your girlfriend loves this cocktail, your relationship will end quickly, with a clean break, and leave little to no aftertaste. You’ll pretty much forget you were ever in a relationship to begin with. Except for the olives she hides around the apartment that you'll find rotten and stinky months later.
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If your girlfriend enjoys sipping on light beer, your relationship is likely to end the way said beer tastes. It will slowly fizzle out because of complete lack of flavor or excitement. But, she'll probably text all of your friends saying your manhood is tiny.
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If your girlfriend enjoys this classic whiskey-based cocktail, it might seem like a good thing. You two can share your love of whiskey together. The only problem is that like finding an unexpected cherry at the bottom of your cocktail, you’re going to find a few secrets about her that will lead to an clean break. By clean break, we mean a head butt that results in a broken nose.
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If your significant other enjoys a margarita (or three) every time you hit up happy hour, your relationship is likely to end like an evening of too much tequila with a lot of salty language and a sour taste in your mouth. Plus, she'll probably rub salt in your eyes.
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One of the most popular pre-dinner cocktails is the Campari, gin, and vermouth-based Negroni. It wouldn’t be surprising if your girlfriend enjoyed this cocktail, but it does mean that your relationship with finish with a bitter argument, an argument that ends in you getting stabbed with a tiny cocktail sword.
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One or two whiskey sours is fine. More than that and you begin to get a strange taste in your mouth. The same goes for your relationship with a whiskey sour fan. It’s bound to end because you’re eventually going to get tired of their cloyingly sweet and sour personality. And once it's over, she'll probably melt all of your favorite records in your microwave.
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There’s nothing initially telling about your significant other’s enjoyment of house white wine when you go to a restaurant. The only problem is that, like the wine itself, your relationship’s end might seem sweet at the time, but will only give you heartburn later on. Plus, she'll leave you for your best friend because his college degree wasn't in communications.
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