10 Hilarious Ways To Talk Your Way Out Of A Speeding Ticket
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It happens to all of us at some point. You’re driving along, jamming out to your favorite Hoobastank tune, and out of nowhere, the police pull you over. You’re on the verge of getting a speeding ticket. Your insurance costs are about to go up. Your mom is going to be very disappointed in you. What do you do? You make the officer laugh. Below are 10 not-so-sure-fire, but hilarious, ways to talk your way out of a speeding ticket.
Worse than a speeding ticket: Person Drives Through DMV Building During Driving Test
'I wasn't speeding. I was simply ahead of schedule.'
Use this excuse if you're in the Midwest and your copper has a mustache who looks like your dad's best friend.
Blame it on the ex-wife.
If your officer doesn't laugh at this he doesn't have a soul.
'The box says, 'If you have an erection over 4 hours, see your doctor IMMEDIATELY!''
He'll ever laugh or he has to follow you to the doctor's office, right?!
'I wanted to see what would happen when this baby hit 88 miles per hour.'
If you have a Back To The Future fan, you're golden.
Ask the officer, 'How long have you been waiting there?' After their reply, say, 'Well, I got here as fast as I could.'
Another dad-joke that never fails.
Say you really have to go 'number two.'
And if your significant other is with you, just say you just got back from Mexico and need to find a baño for your partner immediately. Just be ready to really "sell it."
Carry a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card.
Who says Monopoly isn't useful outside of game night?
'I just got my period and I have no tampons. I’m so sorry!'
Use this for a female officer. She has to understand, right?
Photo: SIphotography (Getty Images)
Quote 'Top Gun.'
Bonus points if you refer to your officer as "Maverick."
Weave, then utilize this anecdote...
"I worked with a salty old guy who got pulled over for weaving. It was a hot and humid day and he told the officer he was trying to un-stick his balls from the side of his leg. Well, he wasn't lying. That's exactly what he was trying to do. The cop laughed his ass off and let him off with a verbal warning."
In the end, all that really matters is that, upon seeing a cop, hit the brakes and give the ol' courtesy wave. It works every time!