oscar meyer

Oscar Meyer Introduces Bologna Face Masks Because Who Doesn’t Want Processed Meat-Scented Skin?

No one ever asked for a processed meat face mask, but since when does capitalism care? Oscar Meyer, that ridiculous meat-making company known for its Wienermobile, has created a face mask out of bologna and is selling it for $5 on Amazon.

We’re not talking about the kind of face masks that have become ubiquitous during the Covid pandemic, either; we’re talking about the old-fashioned type of reparative skin care mask that your mom wears on her days off – except this one is designed to mimic deli meat.

This insane product came to be as a result of a partnership between Oscar Meyer and Korean beauty and skincare company Seoul Mamas. According to People, the face mask boasts “hydrating and restoring hydrogel that promote skin elasticity, improves hydration and moisture retention, offers anti-inflammatory benefits, and provides protection for the skin.”

In other words, no lunch meat was harmed in the making of this face mask.

“Oscar Mayer has a legacy bringing levity to things that have gotten too serious, and beauty is a ripe territory to playfully subvert,” marketing representative Lindsey Ressler said in a statement. “This product was born as a modern-day way to spark smiles for fans of Oscar Mayer and beauty enthusiasts alike.”

We don’t recall any woman clamoring for bologna, much less wanting to put a slab on her face, so we’re unsure if this gag gift will find a target market. Oscar Meyer really should’ve marketed real meat face masks to dudes – they’ve been cutting mugs in bologna since they were kids, after all.

Cover Photo: Oscar Meyer



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