Trump’s Impeachment Lawyer Sets Memes On Fire (Our 15 Favorite Funniest Tweets)

Donald Trump goes through lawyers faster than a long haul trucker through a bottle of Tums. But none of his long list of legal superheroes has seduced the entire internet quite so instantly and effortlessly as Bruce Castor (sorry Rudy). It all happened earlier this week when the former District Attorney overwhelmed audiences during the opening of Trump’s second impeachment trial. Like a man shaken awake on a park bench, Castor stood up and delivered what can only be described as the incoherent ramblings of Trump’s last line of defense.

Just before entering the courtroom, Castor tipped reporters as to what would happen next. “I’m not Ken Starr or Alan Dershowitz. You’re not going to get a law professor’s explanation,” Castor said. “I’m a guy who gets up in court and talks.”

By minute two, he was establishing his mental prowess, “The other day when I was down here in Washington, I came down earlier in the week to try to figure out how to find my way around…I got lost then and I still do.”

He then went on to highlight the importance of word choice. “And if we go down the road… the flood gates will open. I was going to say it well, instead of flood gates, I was going to say originally it will release the whirlwind, which is a biblical reference. But I subsequently learned since I got here that that particular phrase has already been taken, so I figured I’d better change it to flood gates.”

Confused yet? Let our favorite tweets explain the beauty of Castor’s meanderings better than words alone ever could.

Cover Photo: Congress.gov (Getty Images)

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All in all, “We had a good day,” Bruce told the media afterward. If by “we” he means Twitter, then yes, we had a good day. However, there was one man who didn’t have a good day. According to eyewitness accounts, Trump was “screaming” at the TV for the entirety of Castor’s performance. God bless this man.

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