MANCHESTER, NH - FEBRUARY 10: (L-R) U.S. President Donald Trump greets his daughter Ivanka Trump and son Donald Trump Jr. during a "Keep America Great" rally at Southern New Hampshire University Arena on February 10, 2020 in Manchester, New Hampshire. New Hampshire will hold its first in the national primary on Tuesday. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

President Trump to Speak Every Night of RNC (Half the Speakers Have the Trump Name), Looking Like Failed Fascist Family Vacation

If there’s one thing we know about President Trump, it’s that he loves to hear his own voice. In an unprecedented move (which seems to be his signature move during this administration), he’s planning to speak on every night of the RNC this week. Perhaps this should come as no surprise given that our commander-in-chief is the biggest attention whore this country’s ever seen and that the RNC is being produced by people who also worked on The Apprentice, the NBC reality show Trump hosted for 10 seasons.

Another thing President Trump adores? Seeing his last name in lights. No wonder he’s booked several of his clan to speak at the RNC. Yup, if you’re hate-watching the festivities, you’ll hear from Ivanka Trump, Donald Trump Jr., and daughter-in-law Lara Trump over the four-day convention. Melania Trump is also on the bill, though she doesn’t speak so much as robotically recite whatever the teleprompter tells her to (and we’re unsure how much she actually understands). It’s like a fascist family vacation that no one asked to witness.

Why our nation’s biggest loudmouth merits four nights of pulpit time is beyond us, but that’s OK. He’s the reason mute buttons were invented.

Cover Photo: Drew Angerer / Staff (Getty Images)

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