Scooby-Doo Denied As Emotional Support Animal For Being ‘Just A Good Dane’

Amidst the emotional support animal craze, one of TV’s most beloved canine companions, Scooby-Doo, was denied entrance to the posh life of air travel after a mediocre review from the town vet. While kids and parents have adored the mystery-solving dog for more than 50 years, the certified doctors at the local animal wellness clinic beg to differ, stating:

“He’s obviously a very good boy, and his case-solving record overall the last five decades is fairly decent, but we’re just not sure he’s a Great Dane. More like a Good Dane,” she told Mandatory. “We’ve noticed Scooby tends to get very agitated when he senses something is askew, and that can make it difficult for an animal to provide the emotional support required for these sad, anxious people during air travel these days, plus dogs tend to start peeing erratically after 50 or so years.”

Despite the sad news that Scooby will have to continue in a crate beneath the plane, he will be able to reapply next year. Until then, the local vet recommended Shaggy take him in The Mystery Machine as often as possible to regulate his nervousness about travel. When asked about his rejected ESA status, Shaggy only had this to say:

“I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it were for that idiot woman and her pesky peacock she brought on board.”

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