It’s bad enough choosing a child’s gender without its consent, but not even inviting them to their own gender reveal party, well, that was just the start of a very rough childhood for baby Vincent and his mother, Susanne Delaney.
Vince, a three-month-old ray of sunshine into his mother’s life after she gave birth to her second and “hopefully last” child, has held back his words about his mother’s decision to give him an “overtly masculine” name, something he likely feels could have been discussed before the blue balloons and cake were revealed to people Vincent swears have more allegiance to his single mother.
To protest his point, Vince quickly became a practicing vegan and started refusing his mother’s milk out of spite, amongst other delicious foods including string cheese, jello and whole sticks of butter.
“We’re not going to lie, we’re pretty sure Vince loves milk,” friends of Vince’s mother have pointed out. “In fact, we’ve never seen a baby who loves diary this much. So to have her son deny his mother’s nipple is really saying something.”
Although there have been rumors circulating that generations of Delaney women may be “blessed” with a third nipple, there are just as many scientific theories (one, this one) noting that suckling from the extra teet may be akin to choosing what’s behind “door number three.”
“I just think he’s so brave,” Vincent’s 4-year-old sister said. “I only wish more vegans had the backbone Vincent has, but then again most of them are suffering from malnourishment.”