The Michonne ‘Walking Dead’ Guide to Social Distancing
The Walking Dead episode “What We Become” marked the final appearance of Danai Gurira’s Michonne. After deciding to travel with Virgil, we found out the inevitable: dude’s a psycho. His family members are zombies and he keeps people captive. However, Virgil has a very good reason for doing these things: he simply wanted a friend.
Social distancing has left us without our friends—they didn’t leave us, we left them. Just like Michonne, who, after finding boots among Virgil’s belongings, leaves her friends. The footwear belongs to Rick Grimes, as does a cell phone with drawings of her and Judith etched into it. There’s also a message written in Japanese: “Believe a little bit longer.” Taking this as proof of life, with Judith’s blessing, Michonne decides to just leave altogether. It’s a decision she makes for the safety of others. She’s social distancing and we could learn a thing or two from her.
Cover Photo: AMC
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Beware of false advertising.
This might be the most important rule in regards to apocalyptic scenarios—the root of all dramatic conflict. For example, you may meet a nice blonde with good intentions; however, when she takes you back to her town of Woodbury, its leader is kind of a dick. Or, maybe you run into a group of people that deem themselves saviors of humanity, forcefully hoarding supplies and using it to leverage others. Baseball bat-welding narcissists might be good for ratings (or not) but stick with warm, borderline psychotic do-gooders. Zombie virus or respiratory infection—follow your gut.
Honor the 6-feet rule when leaving your home.
You aren’t going to be able to remain in the comfort of your isolation forever, especially if you’re the fearless samurai—you’ll be picked to go on supply runs. Or, maybe you just need to go for a walk, take a bike ride or hang out near your neighbors’ window...watching...for some reason. Keep your distance; in some cases, you may be able to see the danger courtesy of pale skin and well, snarling. Other times, not so much. Beware of others, they may actually bite (in our case, metaphorically).
Wash your hands and remind others to do the same.
Let’s just get this all out on the table; we’ve all seen that person in the bathroom who walks straight out of the stall and into the world. These are the types of people that will decapitate a walker and just straight-out hug you. Are they that busy? Do they not have time for hygiene? Who are these people? Wash your fucking hands. We all have time now. Unfortunately, these lunatics might still be out there, indifferent to their filth. You don’t have to be one of them.
Leisurely stock up on the necessities.
Avoid bum-rushing the supermarkets. Preparing for Y2K is preposterous; there's no need to assume your future holds months of endless diarrhea with nowhere to go with your mess. Other people need things, too. Sharing is caring. Maybe the neighbor kid likes pudding. Buy him some, leave it on his doorstep, ring the doorbell and run away before he comes out and coughs on you.
Don’t give in to peer pressure (because no one knows what they're talking about).
Don’t let others persuade you of taking unnecessary risks. Anne Frank lived in a cupboard for two years. Deal with it.
Use technology to connect with friends and family.
In the past, mental health professionals have advocated for in-person social experiences. No more. Introverts have taken to the rooftops in glee. Now is the time for technology to shine. Wherever platform you use—Twitter, Instagram, TikTok—funny posts make the world go round. Literally. Connect with friends, family, co-workers, and thought-to-be dead baby daddies on platforms like Zoom and Skype. Virtual happy hour is all the rage at the moment; even the Rock is doing it. So grab your Teremana Tequila and go to town...err...the web.
Take up some new hobbies, like reading.
Or writing cryptic messages on cell phones because you're seriously struggling to make writing all these characters off coherent.
Take care of your physical and mental well-being with exercise or meditation.
Imagine she's your trainer...or in Michonne's case, get drugged and imagine an entire life where you made all the wrong choices.
Lock down that quarantine bae at all costs.
It might be a little late for this now. The good news is that dating apps like Bumble and Tinder have seen a spike in usage. A spokesman for Bumble said that the company has seen upwards of a 20 percent increase in chats with substantial back-and-forth. However, don’t meet them until this is all over. Just lay some serious groundwork (and then probably never talk to them again).
Abandon your children if you have to.
Typically, younger folk don't approach a crisis or aimless journey with much maturity or tact.
When in doubt, just leave altogether.
Screw you guys, I’m going home...in a boat...or to find Rick Grimes...with no real idea of where he actually is.
Prepare yourself for whatever comes next.
Whether that be a lucrative career in movies or just binging them.
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Help Prevent the Spread of the Coronavirus
Visit the Centers for Disease Control at CDC.gov or the World Health Organization at Who.int for the latest information on the coronavirus and learn what you can do to stop the spread.