king charles

King Charles III Likely to Dine on Parasitic, Blood-Sucking Fish Pie to Celebrate Coronation (Are They Trying to Kill Him?)

You know the phrase “fit for a king”? Well, if you knew what went into Lamprey Pie, you might wonder how that term ever came about. That’s because the British entrée involves a parasitic, blood-sucking fish. Cooked in a pie. Because that sounds delicious. And it’s what newly crowned King Charles III might be served to celebrate his coronation.

Let’s break this down. Lampreys are jawless fish that have fangs galore in their funnel-like mouths. They’re creepy, squirmy blood-suckers and not anything we would ever want to put in our pie holes. Ah, but the Brits have different ideas than us Americans about what is worth eating, and they have been chowing down on this invasive species since the Middle Ages. Rumor has it that King Henry I actually ate so many of the slimy seafood that he, well, ended up swimming with the fishes.

And now lampreys are back in the lexicon of us commoners across the pond because a Michigan fishery is expecting to be tapped to supply the royal family with lampreys for King Charles III’s coronation. Apparently, baking these little bad boys up with some syrup, wine, and spices in a pie crust is part and parcel of big events like jubilees and coronations. The Brits used to source their own lampreys, but since 2002, they’ve relied on the Great Lakes to provide them because of shortages in their home country.

“We capture them and send them over to Gloucester, England so that they can continue their long tradition,” said Marc Gaden, the deputy executive secretary of the Great Lakes Fishery Commission, told Capital News Service about the disgusting creatures. He also told Today that dishing up lamprey pie for royalty was historically seen as a sign of wealth and respect.

We don’t know if they’re trying to kill King Charles III with this gag-worthy menu item, but we can’t imagine being able to stomach anything that involves fish with fangs.

Cover Photo: Pool / Yelena Rodriguez Mena (Getty Images)