The Rusty American’s Guide to Getting Back to Not Blowing Your Load Too Quickly, Hopefully
Coronavirus – and its subsequent mandate of social distancing – made many of us unintentionally celibate. Now that the country is starting to reopen, one of the first things you’re probably looking forward to is getting laid again. But since you’ve been out of practice for the past four months or so, you might be worried about busting a nut too quickly.
One in 10 men have trouble with premature ejaculation (PE), and that’s under normal circumstances, so we can’t imagine how much that figure will, ahem, rise after this insufferable quarantine. What’s too fast in the sack? Two minutes or less, according to the experts. We want you to have a successful return to your sex life, so we’ve created this rusty American’s guide to getting back to not blowing your load too quickly (hopefully).
Cover Photo: sasint (Pixabay)
Tips and tricks: The Mandatory Guide to Safe Sex in a Time of Love and Quarantine
Work your pelvic floor.
Ever heard of pubococcygeal (PC) muscles? They're located in your pelvic floor and they're crucial for controlling your cum. To locate them, stop peeing mid-stream. The muscles you feel when you do that are your PC muscles. To strengthen, try this “nuts to guts” exercise: stand in front of mirror and lift your testicles without the help of your hands; tighten and hold for count of 10. Repeat 10 times a day. You can also practice yoga or pilates for more PC-strengthening moves.
Get ahead of the game.
By masturbating, that is. Jerking off an hour or two before the main event will make you be less likely to race across the finish line.
You should probably be using them anyway to protect against STIs and unwanted pregnancy, but now you have another reason to suit up. Try an extra-thick variety to help you last longer.
Anesthetic creams, sprays, or wipes will numb your cock and help you chill out. Just make sure to warn your partner if you’re using these treatments, as they can dull the sensations in the vagina, too, or cause an allergic reaction.
Prioritize her orgasm.
Focusing on her pleasure will help take your mind off your own. Treat her to some fantastic foreplay, oral sex, finger fucking, or anything else she enjoys. That way, even if you blow your load too fast, she's satisfied.
Think slow and deep rather than shallow and fast. If that’s still too dicey, try non-penetrative moves, like sliding her up and down your shaft, either naked or clothed.
Switch it up.
Change positions often to last longer. Need inspiration? Try the kama sutra, which offers built-in pauses in the action as you contemplate the diagrams and wonder, "WTF?"
Stop and start.
Sometimes the only way to win the game is to bench yourself. That's a sports metaphoric way to say: if you get too excited, just stop. Wait until your member calms down, then begin again.
Try the squeeze technique.
If you feel like you're going to come, pull out and put the pressure on. Use your thumb and forefinger to push on the top and underside of the penis just below the head. Hold for 10 seconds, then proceed. Repeat as needed.
Think about anything else.
Harness the power of your mind and refocus on anything and everything that doesn't make you horny, like sports stats, your grandmother's soup recipe, or that spreadsheet you have to finish at work.
The more, the better.
Having sex frequently will, ironically, help you last longer.
Ask for a prescription.
If any other body part were not working as it should, you'd go see a doctor, right? Your dick should be no exception. Don't be shy. Ask your doctor about a pharmaceutical solution. Strangely, one of the most effective might be an antidepressant, particularly Paxil. Your penis will be happier and so will you.
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