Women Getting Waxed in New ‘Open-Air Oasis,’ So Spread Eagle in a Parking Lot

Thanks to coronavirus, beauty salons were shut down for months. Little by little, they’ve been reopening across the country with various safety standards in place to protect people from spreading COVID-19. In California, Gov. Gavin Newsom had a novel (if impractical) mandate: beauty salons could reopen, but only if they did so outdoors. While California has the ideal climate for such “open-air” salons, the idea really only works for haircuts, manicures, or pedicures (though all of those services often involve a plethora of tools and special chairs, which would be a total pain the ass to set up outside).

The trouble is, people still want to get other salon services, like massages and body waxing, safely. The governor says those can be done outdoors, too, proving that he’s never had a rub-down or paid someone to manscape him. Just picture it: a parking lot full of ladies with disposable wraps around their waists, waiting their turn to lie, spread-eagle, on a table, exposing their womanhood to whoever is picking up a rib-eye to grill this weekend or a bag of mulch for the garden at stores nearby. Getting waxed is a deeply intimate experience, one that should not be witnessed by anyone other than the waxer and the waxee (and even they don’t want to witness what goes down when the hot wax comes off).

But who knows. Maybe the lack of privacy was meant to be a deterrent for women seeking waxing services. Is Gov. Newsom trying to bring the bush back? This would be one way to do it. Or is he just trying to get an eyeful? Either way, we think the outdoor salon idea is a non-starter.

Cover Photo: HBO

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