Dutch Vegan Denied Swiss Passport Because She’s ‘Too Annoying’

Photo: hocus-focus (Getty)

A Dutch woman trying to get a Swiss passport was rejected because she does not want more cowbell.

No, seriously.

According to Yahoo! News, a 42-year-old Dutch vegan recently tried to get a Swiss passport for herself, but the locals in the town of Gipf-Oberfrick in the canton of Aargau told her to go fuck herself.

The reason? You guessed it – she’s too annoying and has a big mouth.

It appears as though Nancy Holten is not only a vegan but also an animal rights activist, and it’s driving the locals nuts. For starters, she argues that the cowbells are too heavy and too loud for the cows to be happy with life.

“The bells, which the cows have to wear when they walk to and from the pasture, are especially heavy,” Holten said. “The animals carry around five kilograms around their neck. It causes friction and burns to their skin. The sound that cow bells make is a hundred decibel. It is comparable with a pneumatic drill. We also would not want such a thing hanging close to our ears?”

Holten has also campaigned against “a number of other Swiss traditions like hunting, pig races and the noisy church bells in town,” and the locals are sick of her shit. They denied her initial application in 2015 and are preparing to do whatever it takes to keep her out of their town.

Tanja Suter, the president of the local Swiss People’s Party, said Holten has a “big mouth and the town’s residents don’t want to give her citizenship “if she annoys us and doesn’t respect our traditions.”

Here’s our advice for Holten: If you don’t like anything about the town or country you’re trying to move to, fuck off and go somewhere else.

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