Golden Retriever resting on her pillow after lots of playing.

Scottish Woman Pleads Guilty To Filming Herself In Sex Acts With Her Dog

Photo: JfJacobsz (Getty)

When I google my name, I’m happy to see that several stand-up comedy videos and links to my articles pop up. As a comedian and writer, that’s what I’m hoping people searching for me will see.

As for Suzy Cairns? Well, if she actually wants people to know that she’s into having sexual relations with her pet dog, she has succeeded and then some.

Scottish Woman Pleads Guilty To Filming Herself In Sex Acts With Her Dog

According to Fox News, the 39-year-old Scottish woman pleaded guilty this week to two counts of possessing pornography. That porno collection? You guessed it – videos of her engaged in a “sex act involving her pet dog and whipped cream” and “sickening child pornography photos.”

Authorities were first alerted to Cairns’s shitdickery after her internet IP address was “discovered trying to access indecent images of children” in March. Police then found more than 160 porn pics of kids on her phone.

For whatever reason, the yellow Labrador retriever that Cairns decided to have hump time will remain in her possession until she is sentenced on February 9, but the good news is that she has already been added to Scotland’s sex offenders’ list, and officials there are asking the court to “assess her for electronic monitoring.”

Let’s hope part of that sentencing next month involves finding a home for the pup where people want to play with it the way it’s supposed to be played with.

In Florida, they do this shit in front of a crowd: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull in Front of His Neighbors