The Michael Bloomberg Valentine’s Day Guide to Buying People’s Affection

It’s pretty obvious by now that money has been influencing American politics for decades, but can money influence matters of the heart? Billionaire presidential wannabe Mike Bloomberg is here to tell you that on Valentine’s Day, that’s exactly how money is best spent. Let’s face it, Bloomberg is the epitome of a hopeless romantic, one who throws cold hard cash at everything that moves in order to make his affections known. He’s pretty much Bruce Wayne without the night job. So even though he can’t pet a dog, what better role model is there to teach us a thing or two about buying people’s love then good old Mike Bloomberg? And you can forget about flowers and fancy chocolates. With Bloomberg’s fool-proof Valentine’s Day gift guide, you’ll only need your wallet (and a team of high-powered advisors). Trust him, your date will like you about $150 more afterward.

Photo: CBS Photo Archive (Getty Images)

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