Mandatory Holiday Battles: Halloween vs. Christmas
These days, both Halloween and Christmas have become more about the sum of their parts than the actual day. Halloween, in many people’s minds, starts in September and ends on Oct. 31, while Christmas, for a lot of people, begins the day after Thanksgiving and lasts well into January. That’s why they never take down their Christmas tree. They’re not being trashy; they’re being festive. Both holidays transform even the hardest-hearted among us into little kids again. Halloween has candy, costumes, and scary movies. (Did we mention the candy?) Christmas brings presents from Santa, pretty lights, and ham dinners. Let’s pit these two holidays against each other and see which one is better!
Cover Photo: Walt Disney Pictures
Though Satan and Santa are only one letter rearrangement away from being the same name, Halloween has become less of a devil-centric holiday and has focused more on a harmless jack-o’-lantern. Those crazy gourds beat out ol’ Saint Nick every time because, let's face it: Santa Claus is a fraud. He’s an idol at best, a scapegoat at worst. Telling your children of Santa’s existence to get them to behave is the type of manipulation that will make them resent you and cause them to spend hours upon hours in therapy. Jack-o’-lanterns, on the other hand, are festive ways to be creative as a family. They’re not based on lies and bribery.
Yes, certain Christmas movies are classics. Films like A Christmas Story, Elf, and Christmas Vacation are beloved by anybody with a soul. But, aside from a dozen or so classic films, how many Christmas movies are actually good? We don’t know when liking Hallmark movies became such a fad, but we resent it. Halloween, on the other hand, has a veritable cavalcade of films to usher in its big day, like Hocus Pocus, Halloween, Trick ‘r Treat, and Fright Night, just to name a few. Plus, the one movie both Halloween and Christmas have in common, The Nightmare Before Christmas, is way more Halloween-centric than Christmas-themed. So, yet again, the edge goes to Halloween when it comes to the movies.
Yes, Christmas music is pretty good. In fact, it may be one of the best parts about Christmas, period. But it still pales in comparison to the spooky sounds of the Halloween season. Songs like "Thriller," "The Monster Mash," and Bette Midler's rendition of "I Put a Spell on You" put Bing Crosby, Burl Ives, and Michael Bublé to shame.
What is Christmas but a cheap rip-off of Thanksgiving? Unless you’re one of those weird families that serves goose or roast beef, you’re probably just copying the exact same meal you had one month prior. It’s less special, thus, less satisfying. Halloween, on the other hand, gives you permission to give into your deepest cravings. It offers sweet and salty candy that you know you’re not supposed to have and that’s why it tastes so, so good.
Yes, it’s always nice when it snows on Christmas Day. We all dream of a white Christmas. But what about every other day of the year? Is snow as fun when you have to scrape it off your car every morning before you go to work? Or how about when it causes you to rear-end the guy in front of you on your way home? Winter is coming. It always does. But we don’t have to like it. Fall, on the other hand, is not too hot and not too cold. The colors are beautiful. It's the perfect time of year to stroll the streets outside, collecting candy.
Christmas starts off strong with cinnamon rolls, coffee, and lots of presents being opened. But after that, there’s not really much left to the day. You’re tired, you’re grumpy, it’s cold, and now you have to go listen to your in-laws for hours on end. Admit it: nobody actually likes playing dominoes with Grandma Ida, do they? Halloween, on the other hand, is more of a slow build. Maybe you have to go to school or work, but it doesn’t feel like an actual workday. There are treats and pranks and sometimes even parties! And then, once work or school is over, you get to go home, light some candles, throw on "The Monster Mash," and get ready for the evening's festivities. If you’re a child, your whole month has built to the moment when you’re finally able to accost strangers for candy. If you’re an adult, you get to put on a thrown-together costume to go drink copious amounts of alcohol and make a night full of bad decisions. It’s really a special holiday, no matter the age. And that is why Halloween, for now and forever, will better than Christmas.
Halloween is, without a doubt, the best holiday of the year. Sorry, Christmas fans. You can have your Hallmark movies and family dinners where everybody pretends that they don’t actually hate each other. Give us leaves, pumpkins, ghosts and goblins any day.
Overall Winner: Halloween