The Mandatory ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’ Guide to Getting Your Own Tree

You might not know it, but you don’t have to pay ridiculous prices for pre-cut Christmas trees from a dealer in a parking lot in the middle of your city. Also, if you’re the type of person who prefers to cut their own tree down, you don’t have to visit a tree farm with row after row of similarly imperfect trees. According to the US Forest Service, you can actually cut your own tree in a national forest. In fact, there are 88 forests in the US where, with a Forest Service-issued permit, you can cut your own tree down.

If you’re going to venture into a densely wooded forest, you better know what you’re getting into. Lucky for you, we wrote a handy dandy guide designed to help the whole venture go a little more smoothly (or not). It should be noted that since we’ve never cut our own pine trees, we’re not experts and none of our tips will likely help in any way.

Photo: Warner Bros.

Meanwhile in Florida: Man Loses More Than His Pants in Fight at the Wawa, Nobody Wins in That Scenario

Mouthwash Reportedly Can Kill COVID: Study Says Start Gargling, Sucker

Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.