Friendsgiving Minus the Friends: 10 Staple Thanksgiving Day Fails We Are Thankful to Be Without in 2020
Like all holidays in 2020, Thanksgiving is going to look a little different this year. Normally, we’d be visiting family, sometimes flying in to see aunts, uncles, and cousins that we only see once or twice a year. This holiday season, with the COVID-19 pandemic still raging, we’re not packing into someone’s home and sitting shoulder to shoulder around a table while we feast on turkey, stuffing, and other holidays favorite. It’s a bad idea.
We’re also not going to attending any “Friendsgiving” celebrations. Pretty much, this year we’re all stuck at home eating microwave turkey dinners and that’s just the way it is. Since Friendsgiving is off the proverbial table in 2020, we decided to make a list that will likely make you feel better. That’s because it’s all the of the staple Thanksgiving fails we’re thankful not to witness this year.
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Someone forgets to bring an important dish.
There are a few dishes that are extremely necessary for a great Thanksgiving. These include mashed potatoes, stuffing, and most of all, turkey. This year, you don’t have to worry about one of your lazy friends forgetting to bring something.
A friend gets too drunk.
Every year, one of your friends indulges in grandpa’s special cough syrup a little too much and ends up face-down on the couch. This year, you won’t have to worry about whether someone needs to “sleep it off” because you won’t have any guests.
The gravy is lumpy.
Gravy is finicky. If it’s not made well and given the respect it deserves, it will be lumpy and terrible. This year, you don’t have to worry about anyone making garbage gravy because you can make it yourself. Or just order a pizza instead.
Someone spills wine on the carpet.
None of your friends can get a little liquored up and spill a glass of red wine on your new white carpet this year. So, even though you might be lonely, at least you won’t have to pay for a carpet cleaner to come in.
You bring a female friend, and your horny friends won’t leave her alone.
This year, you won’t have to worry about making the bad decision to bring a female friend or coworker to your Friendsgiving gathering. You won’t have to worry about your horny single friends gawking at her while they inadvertently pour gravy down their pants.
A friend is way into NFL games.
Thanksgiving is a day filled with turkey and NFL games. Some of your friends get a little “too into” the games due to betting. You won’t have to deal with anyone screaming at the TV this year.
The turkey is bone dry.
No need to worry about your friend’s turkey they make every year that’s dryer than sandpaper. Order your dinner from Boston Market instead. No dry turkey in this house.
Someone brings a first date.
For some reason, your friends think a holiday gathering is a great place to bring a first date. Well, it’s not. It’s awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. Luckily you don’t have to worry about that this year.
Political talk gets too heated.
With the election in our rearview mirror, there’s always the possibility that one of your friends has drunk the proverbial Kool-Aid and doesn’t believe in the presidential election results. Don’t worry about it this year. This is a stress-free day.
There's a terrible mess to clean up.
If you’re hosting Friendsgiving, there’s a good chance your friends will sweep in like a drunken, gravy-swilling hurricane and leave just as much damage in their wake. Don’t worry about it this year; takeout containers can simply be thrown in the trash.
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