10 Signs It’s Time to Get Back to Your Quarantine Bubble
Living inside a quarantine bubble can be a real drag, especially during the dog days of summer. When it’s beautiful outside, we’d all rather be on the beach or at least drunk at a rooftop bar. Unfortunately, COVID-19 has turned this sunny season into an endless bummer. Sure, you can lifehack your bathroom into a make-shift gym or turn a spare corner into a home office. You can try to focus on the positives, that is, as long as you don’t read the news or look out a window. After a while, even the mind-numbing powers of streaming content wears thin.
At this point, everyone misses their friends and less annoying family members. Hell, you may even miss that coworker who never stops talking or your dumb boss. Most frustrating of all are the selfish people who refuse to social distance and wear masks. You see them having fun and it feels like the group assignment from high school where you had to do all the work. While none of us wants to go through another lockdown, it seems 2020 isn’t done with us yet. From hurricanes to secret police to obese wanna-be Punishers, here are 10 signs it’s time to get back in your quarantine bubble.
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Avoiding Awkward Situations
While things can get awkward anytime, these days avoiding handshakes and other social distancing practices can make things even more cringey. The best way to avoid such social land mines is to get back in your bubble.
Drones and other robots are having something of a moment because of COVID-19. We’ve seen too many sci-fi movies to trust these tin cans and figure if it’s going to happen, 2020 seems like the perfect year for it.
Things in Arizona, the Florida of the West, are literally going off the rails. A recent train crash is just one more reason to make like a tree and not move.
A Perfect Storm
Hurricane Hanna recently kicked off what could become a record season for big storms by battering Texas with over a foot of rain. More storms are gathering steam in the gulf, so we’re thinking this is a sure sign Zeus might want to give ‘rona a run for its money.
Cats have gotten used to their human servants always being around. Your kitty might get kind of mad if you bail now, plus, nothing makes you forget the apocalypse like a purring cat in the lap.
MLB Strikes Out
To compete in sports at the pro level, you have to be super fit, tough as nails and avoid ruining your career on Twitter. When 11 players for the Marlins recently tested positive for COVID-19 despite tons of costly safety measures, the reality that the pandemic is far from over became even more impossible to deny.
Rich People Bugging Out
With the coronavirus still raging across the U.S., rich people are shelling out big bucks for passports from other countries. If all these billionaires are bugging out to overseas bunkers, it kind of makes you think not so good things might be coming our way.
From secret police disappearing folks in Portland to small armies of armor-clad officers beating people in the streets, cops are scarier than ever. Even worse, most refuse to wear face masks, giving you all the more reason to get back in your bubble and out of the tear gas.
The flaccid dad bods of right-wing nut jobs might seem hilarious and the total opposite of intimidating. However, these wanna-be Punishers are often armed to the teeth and seriously over-compensating, a very dangerous combo.
The most obvious reason to stay in your quarantine bubble is COVID-19, which we’re sure is no surprise. This doesn’t only protect you, but everyone else too, so not doing it is honestly a pretty dick move.
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