The Fine Art of ‘Taking A Short Break’ Without Screwing Your Relationship
Some people (you know the type) initiate “soft breakups” anytime there’s a chance they can score with someone else. Their logic is that if they’re “on a break” with their partner, they’re free to sleep around. (We’re guessing their partner wouldn’t agree.) It’s a shitty move, but it’s also one that basically allows you to get away with cheating. Even if you don’t want to cheat, and you just need a break, hey, we get it, relationships are hard. Pulling off the ‘let’s-take-a-break’ move is not for amateurs, however, so pull up a chair and learn something that’ll change your life (but probably not your relationship) for the better.
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Do Not Start The Conversation
You cannot initiate the break if you want this to work. You have to wait until they're upset and let them do all of the work for you.
You want to truly overreact to whatever they say. Be sadder than they could ever be. Say you're so sorry, that you love them and don't want to lose them. Get a little emotional, but not too much, because you're about to do a bait-and-switch.
Based on your initial reaction, they will not see this coming. They'll be busy thinking they're about to lay down the law and then you'll rip the rug out from underneath them. Remember, this wasn't your idea. This was their idea that they put into your head. You're not the one who wanted to talk, but now that you think about it, taking a short break might be for the best.
Be Prepared For Devastation
You're breaking up with them. Even if it's just for "some space" to figure things out, it's like a pre-breakup. In doing this, you're hurting another person. Don't forget it. Now hold their hands and say you think the break might be for the best and then leave.
Let The Celebration Begin
You have scored what can only be considered a Get Out Of Jail Free Card. Enjoy it, but don't be an asshole. If you plan to get back together, you have to contact the within a few days. Check and see how they are. Tell them that you miss them. You're basically emotionally lubing them up so that you can consensually engage in intercourse later. Until then, enjoy yourself and get yours.
But Don't Get Carried Away
Remember, you can't just leave them hanging forever. You have about a week before what you're doing is torture. Whatever it is you want to get up to, even if it's just sit in silence for six days, by day seven you're going to have to tell them you want to get back together.
Lay It On Thick
You may not have started it, but you definitely escalated a breakup. You crushed them. They wept. They're going to want you to come back. That's the post breakup fantasy. Everyone wants that. So tell them that you can't go on like this and you have to get back together. Then pause, and say, "If you don't want to do this, I will go away forever and I'll never come back." And if that doesn't seem to be doing the trick, go with Plan B.
Take out the big guns and remind them what they'll be missing.
Happily Ever After?
Ride the high of getting back together.*
*We assume no responsibility if your partner refuses to get back together. You played the odds and lost.
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Do you employ any of these tactics? Will you now that you have some idea how to manage a break? Let us know in the comments!