Make-Up Sex: A Guide To Getting In And Out Of Fights With A Happy Ending
Photo: Deagreez (Getty Images)
What if every petty fight you had with your girlfriend could end in sex? Well, we’re here to tell you that’s a very real possibility if you just STFU and stop shooting yourself in the foot. Women are wonderful, magical creatures who simply want to be heard. So the next time you’re in the middle of what seems like a pointless disagreement, you’re going to pause, stop reacting, and follow this advice so it will end in make-up sex.
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So She Wants To Talk
Instead of being a dick here, sincerely listen to whatever it is that she's thinking or feeling. If you have to disagree, do it. However, you should really focus on validating her instead of setting off an atomic bomb.
De-escalate The Situation
Find the middle ground fast. Stop talking so much. Swallow your pride and make her feel comfortable. If you can do this, you can skip to the sex part because she will feel heard and loved. In turn, she will let you stick your body parts in hers.
So You Couldn't Just Shut Up
Congratulations, you're an idiot. Now she's pissed and her feelings are hurt. You're going to have to pivot out of the part where she hurls insults, which means you're going to have to act like the hurt one.
Yes, Just Bring Up That Thing She Did That One Time
Since you're probably already wrong, you can't defend yourself. You're going to have to sink lower than that, which you're obviously an expert at because you're a man. Bring up that one thing she did that you know will shut her the hell up. And then wait for her to run out of moves to make.
You're The Victim Here
Look. There's a lot of ways you can go with this, but by playing the victim, you're in the driver's seat. You don't want to blow anything up again. You simply want her to back off and quiet down. You should also do the same unless you simply have to scream, "You're tearing me apart!" If you do that, do not pass go and do not collect $200.
Now Begin The Deescalation Process
She's still pissed. Trust us when we say that. So instead of making this about you, tell her you're sorry and that you take responsibility for whatever the hell she wants you to. You might be thinking, "But I'm not wrong." And maybe you're not, but you shouldn't be focused on that anyway. Focus on making her feel validated so she can focus on you.
Then You Win
At this point, she'll likely feel like she's won. However, she'll also feel guilty for whatever the hell it was that you brought up earlier. Let her make it up to you. Don't be a dick. Don't make it a game. The second she acts coy, let the ritual begin, knowing you're a master of make-up sex.
What’s your go-to move for defusing a fight with your lady that results in sex? Let us know in the comments!