Cuffing Season Is Ending: How To Consciously Uncouple Without Being A Dick
Photo: Jamie Grill (Getty Images)
Not all breakups have to be horrifying nightmares, but they can be if you’re a real sociopath. If you’re a normal dude who simply wants more or even less than your relationship can offer, you don’t have to crush your partner’s heart on your bid for freedom. Now that Cuffing Season has officially come to an end, follow these important rules to consciously uncouple so you don’t come across like a dick. This way, you can remain on good enough terms with your ex-boo that you can get back together when you finally realize you’ve made a mistake.
Love and Facebook: Is Social Media A Must-Have For Successful Relationships?
They May Be Pissed And That's OK
When someone says they'd rather not be with you, it's an ego blow. If your partner immediately gets upset, don't internalize it. Don't react. And for Christ's sake, don't tell them you're sorry they "feel that way." Have some compassion, but also brace yourself for being on the receiving end of their reaction. Respect however they feel and whatever their post-breakup boundaries are. This way you can avoid a rage-fueled tirade or a tear-jerking scene when you run into them later on.
Photo: Stadtratte (Getty Images)
Calmly Pack Your Junk And Go
Don't put this off. Even if you don't live together, it's smarter and easier to grab your things the second you've ended the relationship. Waiting until you're drunk and feeling brave will only lead to drama. Instead of following patterns of past relationship fumbles, collect the things you own or have your ex pack them for you. If you live together, plan on a time for you to come in and remove your belongings when it's convenient for her.
This might seem like a lot of extra work, but it'll really save you in the end. This is because it will prevent her from being able to villainize you. The conscious uncoupling part of breaking up exists thanks to a foundation of mutual respect and love, so if you don't have this for your partner, what were you even doing in the first place?
Photo: Mladen Zivkovic (Getty Images)
Be Prepared For Them To Move On
While you might have your reasons for breaking up, it will never prepare you for seeing your ex move on. In fact, you'll probably feel a little crushed and a little weird about it. This is normal, which, coincidentally, is how you should act. Don't avoid them. Smile. Say hi. Be affable. Then you can leave.
Breaking up with someone is the first step to them sleeping with other people, so don't act all surprised. You started this, now man up and show her that you're an adult who gets it.
Photo: Vitapix (Getty Images)
Talk It Out
Sure, you have your reasons for wanting things to end, but that doesn't mean your word is God's. Sit down with your partner and talk about everything you're thinking and feeling. Then hear them out.
Sometimes the growth we need for future relationships comes from these moments. And if you should aim for anything in a breakup, it's to gain the knowledge to be a better partner in your next relationship. Either way, talking things out will make you seem like less of a jackass, even though that's likely what you are.
Photo: PeopleImages (Getty Images)
Don't Lead Them On
If you're done and they're not, don't act like you'll consider staying together. This is the part where you break her heart and it sucks. You're doing no one favors by being a coward and sleeping with other people behind her back. Although this part is going to ultimately suck, she'll respect you for getting it over with once she's done being upset. And if you're too soft to want to deal with her reaction, you shouldn't be dating in the first place.
Photo: BlackSalmon (Getty Images)
Their Friends May Hate You (And That's OK)
Don't take it personally if her friends act like you're a monster. Their job is to protect their friend. It might suck for a while, but be kind, calm, and cool even when they're not. How you react to others is a real reflection of your maturity. Eventually, she'll have to rectify this and it will be her turn to apologize.
Photo: JGI/Jamie Grill (Getty Images)
Make her do the dirty work: 7 Steps to Using A Dishwasher That Will Make Your Girlfriend Leave You
Are you friends with your exes? If so, what are your goto rules for breaking up respectfully? Let us know in the comments!