World’s Largest Condom Included In New Custom Condom Collection

Photo: Classen Rafael / EyeEm (Getty Images)

Finding the perfect condom is kind of like finding the perfect baseball glove. It might look right, but until you slide yourself in it, you really don’t know how it’s going to fit. That’s why a U.K.-based condom maker decided to create not only the world’s largest condom, but also a jimmy hat in every size imaginable.

Dubbed the “custom condom,” TheyFit created 66 different condom sizes to fit every pecker in need of protection.

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Of course, with so many choices, how does one know what size condom they’ll need? TheyFit understood that might be a problem, so the self-proclaimed “condom experts” came up with a unique measuring system on their website. That shouldn’t be too difficult to use, despite the fact this is probably the first time you’ve ever attempted to measure your man sausage…right?

As for the world’s largest condom, dubbed the G31 (which sounds like it should be flying off an aircraft carrier and not protecting your pocket rocket), it boosts an impressive 9.44 inches of un-stretched rubber with a “uniformal nominal” width of 2.7 inches. That might sound rather minimal initially, but the website claims the G31 can handle any member up to 8 inches in girth.

TheyFit says their world’s largest condom is 11 percent longer and 21 percent wider than the Durex XL condom, and 17 percent longer than a Magnum XL condom, both of which have previously been thought to be the world’s biggest condom. (Too bad they didn’t invent the condom that tells you if you suck at sex.)

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Regardless, consumers seem rather thrilled with the pre-lubricated penis shields, judging by some of their testimonials:

“I didn’t think you could help me and I almost didn’t order – I am extremely glad that I did. I don’t think I have ever had an enjoyable experience with a condom, even when I tried out XL ones. In fact I once bought XXL and it was still tight and short. My (TheyFit size) fitted so perfectly I’m sure it made me a little harder than usual haha!!!”

An XXL, huh? Nobody likes a bragger, buddy.

Despite the fact the G31 is getting all the attention, TheyFit’s custom condoms have enough size variety to fit even the tiniest tonsil tickler. So no worries if your pants aren’t packing a manaconda, just make sure you wrap your willy regardless, ’cause nobody wants untreatable super gonorrhea, bruh.