Ashley Greene spent New Year’s making out with some chick because these pictures lead me to believe that. And if I close my eyes, it also leads me to believe that she later slipped into a bikini like this then she got naked like this (NSFW) and then I came in her hotel room wearing a fireman outfit over my thong and the girl in the green hat crossed herself after she saw my penis and then I bent Ashley over the couch and pull her hair while I….wait…wait…oh my God, grandma! No! I wasn’t doing that…I was just…get out of my room! Just leave me alone!
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
