Unicyclist Shows Off Major Hack For High Gas Prices, There’s Just 1 Catch

Cover Image: Strauss/Curtis (Getty Images)

Who needs four wheels? Hell, who needs two? One Fall River, Massachusetts man is who doesn’t, hacking his way through the Metaverse to avoid outrageous gas prices by becoming (wait for it) a unicyclist.

There’s just one catch. 

For the purpose of selling you on the idea, we urge you to forget everything you know about unicycles (seriously, expel that deep well of hateful unicycle knowledge we know you have) and take a gander at Rick Madeira’s one-wheeled electric swagger machine.  It wasn’t until seeing clips of him ripping down local Fall River streets on his electric unicycle that we knew one-wheeled transport could look so…fly?

No, that’s not it.

In a recent interview with The Herald News, Rick said, “It’s just more convenient, and it’s obviously more fun.”

Madeira’s Gotway Nikola Plus, which is a seatless, handle-bar-less, fast-charging, one-wheeled machine that can go up to a whopping 45 miles per hour, is not for the faint of the heart. Seriously, one little pothole, and you’re probably going to lose some teeth.

“It literally takes me four minutes to get to work versus about eight minutes in a vehicle,” he said.

Madeira also says he uses that additional four minutes to explain to his Tinder dates why he’s unable to pick them up for dinner.

Other than the $2,000 price tag for this sleek ride, small potatoes compared to soaring gas prices times gallons driven during the upcoming Feral Girl Summer , the only price to pay is being called a douche bag by every stranger who just happens to glance up from their phone to notice you.

Because let’s face it: President Biden could release all the oil barrels in the world, and we will just soak that shit right up. So if you’re comfortable enough with your manhood to have the confidence to be the butt of everything joke with your friends, you’re all good. It’s not like there are actual people in this office you claim to go to.

Madeira also gave the lowdown on electric unicycle etiquette, noting that while he’s allowed to ride on the road, he typically sticks to the streets. Luckily, Madeira leaves us transport traditionalists with some sound advice for joining his movement:

  • Wear protective and reflective gear
  • Have respect for pedestrians
  • Avoid being a raging, entitled prick

Bird Scooters Are For A-Holes, And Here’s the Proof 

In the end, the question is whether you have what it takes to be part of this unique, gasless revolution? And only for a small fee of $2,000 to find out you’re too uncoordinated to do so!