The 8 Days of Quarantine Christmas (A Parody For Solo Celebrators)

So, this is Christmas. And what have you done? Well, if you’ve been a responsible human this season, hopefully you haven’t done very much. With apologies to John and Yoko, war may be over, but the pandemic is not. Whether we’re trying to socially distance ourselves by choice, or fate has forced us to quarantine, many of us will be celebrating Christmas solo.

Just like when Richie Cunningham caught The Fonz heating up ravioli by himself on Happy Days, many of us will be partaking in Christmas dinner by ourselves or, if we’re lucky, with our cat. It’s not ideal, but it’s a sacrifice we’re willing to make to hopefully, finally, put this godforsaken year of COVID behind us. We wish we could say we had any semblance of Christmas spirit but, this year, we’re less Buddy the Elf, more Grinch. And that’s OK. As long as we have copious amounts of alcohol, a few Christmas lights, and Die Hard and Batman Returns on repeat, we should be OK.

Still, these next eight days may prove difficult, and we’re expecting various emotions to reveal themselves like the ghost of Christmas past. We’re not trying to be Scrooge, but circumstances have dictated it. In an attempt to rekindle that elusive Christmas spirit, we’ve taken to writing songs. You should hear our versions of “O’ Holy Shit (This Year Sucks)” and “I’ll Stay Home for Christmas.” Instant classics. For the purposes of this article, however, we wanted to highlight what will be a roller coaster of emotions over the next eight days. You’ve heard of the “12 Days of Christmas,” but allow us to perform, for you, “The 8 Days of Quarantine Christmas.”

For reference, here is the original song. We recommend singing along with our version as well.

Photo Credit: Nevena1987 (Getty Images)

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