How many great ideas have come out of
watching football and drinking beer? Um, well, at least one. When Iowan football and beer fan, Carson King, held up a sign on national television letting people know his “Busch Light Supply Needs Replenished” (with his Venmo account handle in plain view), he inadvertently stumbled on beer-logic gold. Donations flooded in by the thousands. When his Venmo account broke a million, King decided to pledge the entire bundle to the Stead Family Children’s Hospital (located within puking distance of the University of Iowa stadium). Anheuser Busch caught wind of King’s generosity and offered to match his total.
For his troubles, 24-year-old King received a lifetime supply of Busch Light, which goes to show that drunken attempts to prolong drunkenness always pay off. Though his generosity is admirable and a lifetime supply of beer is a pretty sweet reward, the whole thing got us thinking about all the top-shelf spirits King could have stocked up on with all that moola. We came up with a few ideas.
Photo: Matthew Holst (Getty Images)
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$3 Million Beer Fund
The Black Pearl Louis XIII Anniversary Edition By Remy Martin – $165,000
Do gemstones make your cognac taste better? Remy Martin thinks yes. This bougie blend of over 1,000 eau-de-vie has a collective age of 50,000 years. Only one barrel of this exquisite spirit was ever produced. Barrel chugging recommended.
Photo: Remy Martin
Nun’s Island, Galway Distillery, 20-Year-Old Pure Pot Still Whiskey - $200,000
If you've ever been to Galway, Ireland, then you know that drinking is a way of life. This 19th century Irish whiskey is the last of its kind. Known as the tastiest, smoothest brown ever to grace the civilized world, some say that no unopened bottles remain. We say, hold up a sign asking for one at your next football game.
Photo: The Guardian
The Dalmore 62 – $200,000
62 in Dalmore 62 denotes the age of this rare spirit from Scotland's famed distillery. Less than 12 bottles were produced, hence the starting rate of a quarter-million dollars per bottle. Carson King could have bought the whole case. Photo: Dalmore
1945 Romanee-Conti Wine – $558,000
This here is the most expensive bottle of wine ever sold at auction. Famed vintner, Romanee-Conti, replanted all their vines in 1946, making this bottle the last year of their original stalks. We would have paired this nicely with a McRib sandwich and some tater tots.
Macallan 64-Year-Old In Lalique – $625,000
Macallan is probably the best and most celebrated producer of Scotch in the world. And this single malt delight, consisting of sherry-cask whiskey aged 25-75 years, comes in a 5-liter, beautifully blown crystal decanter. A hangover from this exquisite beverage would make you feel like a king.
Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne – $2 Million
What's cooler than buying a bottle of cognac more expensive than your parents' house? Drinking it in your parents' basement on game day. This solid gold and silver bottle has been peppered with diamonds like a first-grader's art project. Even still, the 100-year-old, $100,000 per sip ambrosia is worth every penny. Do it for the kids.
Pasión Azteca, Platinum Liquor – $3.5 Million
Is it better than Jose Cuervo? Yes. But most of the value from this modern classic comes from the bejeweled bottle. Which is kind of like paying $2 million for a pair of shoes that comes in a solid uranium box. Nonetheless, the 64,000 diamonds included with the bottle can help pay for a lot of future chips and salsa. Salud.
Photo: Tequila Ley
D’Amalfi Limoncello Supreme – $44 million
A few more seasons of working the beer fund circuit could have led to the procurement of this infamous spirit from the town of Sorrento on Italy's Amalfi coast. With only two known bottles left in the world, this sweet lemon liqueur is perfect for Super Bowl jello shots. Just be sure not to toss the empty in the recycling bin, as the neck comes laden with three single, 13-carat diamonds and one giant 18.5-carat diamond.
Why are people more likely to donate to one man's quest for beer than to actual children in need? We have no idea. But poster board and a sharpie marker can truly lead to great things.
Photo: D'Amalfi Limoncello