Mandatory Funny Tweets to Finish Your Week 7-26-2019

The workweek is damn near over but the funny tweets are only just beginning. If you missed last week’s tweets, how dare you! But between Mueller Time and Mercury in retrograde, you’re in for this time around. Catch up on all the Twitter insanity here, then hit up our GIFs of the Week and, of course, follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.

‘Seinfeld’ Turns 30: Classic GIFs to Celebrate Three Decades of Nothing

Men who get mad when male superheroes are rebooted as women are called Thor losers. Thank you.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 25, 2019

My beach body is my winter body plus flip flops.

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) July 25, 2019

There goes my plans for the day. https://t.co/oLtyQQulaE

— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) July 25, 2019

https://twitter.com/OSheaComputer/status/1154138440788660224?s=20

Oh cool she’s just lying freelance now https://t.co/DXOkgjgL2v

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) July 25, 2019

SPEECH THERAPIST: okay let’s start with the alphabet

SCOOBY DOO: ray ree ree ree ree ref ree

SPEECH THERAPIST: *into intercom* cancel all my appointments

— FRO VO (@fro_vo) July 22, 2019

ive been happy the last couple of days and I feel like I got a cheat code in a video game. Damn people just walk around feeling like this wtf lol

— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) July 25, 2019

https://twitter.com/RuinMyWeek/status/1154483008377802752?s=20

politicians keep saying I can keep my doctor like I haven't forcibly had my insurance change 4 times in the last several years and have any idea who my doctor even is

— maura quint (possibly parody sometimes depending) (@behindyourback) July 25, 2019

Billy Madison. https://t.co/0ghcebkjy6

— Bradley Whitford (@BradleyWhitford) July 25, 2019

PETER PAN: we meet again, Captain Hook

CAPTAIN HOOK: well well well– wait u guys call me Hook?

PETER PAN: yeah

CAPTAIN HOOK: because of the hand?

PETER PAN: …i'm sorr-

CAPTAIN HOOK: wow ok hey my dads dead too why not call me captain dead dad

— hey man nice tweet (@jazz_inmypants) July 25, 2019

do you mean bf like best friend or boyfriend or bread festival

— soup rabbit (retired) (@hellohappy_time) July 28, 2018

I heard you can make money collecting up those free scooters at night and throwing them into a ravine

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 25, 2019

S is short for 8

— Spazio (@Spaziotwat) July 22, 2019

https://twitter.com/elensemblador/status/1152564082861641728?s=20