Michigan Man Loses Thousands After Trying To Buy Monkey Online

Photo: JamesTung (Getty)

There’s monkey business and then there’s, well, I guess this also would qualify as monkey business. Literally.

According to Fox 17, a man in Wyoming, Michigan is issuing a warning about something that already should have been a given to human beings with a fully-functioning brain: Don’t buy pets from people online who are requesting that you pay them in the form of Amazon gift cards.

Don Abrego said he sent somewhere between $4,500 and $5,000 to somebody in Hawaii who was supposedly in possession of a capuchin monkey. The problem with that? You guessed it – he got fucked out of $4,500 to $5,000 because the person obviously didn’t have a capuchin monkey in his or her possession.

But wait, the story gets even better.

Along with requests for more Amazon gift cards to pay for flight cancellations and vaccination costs, the scam artist also sent over a photo ID, “but aside from the ten year old expiration date, a quick Google search reveals it’s the same fake ID belonging to McLovin, the character from the movie Superbad.”

Abrego said he shared his story in hopes that it won’t happen to anybody else, which it shouldn’t, unless of course they are also a fucking moron.

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