You Won’t Believe The Amount Of Food This Florida Man Stuffed Into His Pants

Photo: voltan1 (Getty)

Well, it’s safe to say this guy wasn’t wearing his skinny jeans.

According to TC Palm, a 26-year-old Indiantown man was arrested last month after police watched him remove a full rack of ribs from his pants after exiting a local supermarket.

But that wasn’t all Maeli Aguilar-Alvarez had stuffed in his knickers, as police also said they also found two packs of hamburger buns, nine pieces of fried chicken and some mashed potatoes jammed in his pants.

You Won’t Believe The Amount Of Food This Florida Man Stuffed Into His Pants

Police said Aguilar-Alvarez reeked of booze and was definitely intoxicated when he stuffed the meal that likely would have fed a family of four down his pants, and that would probably explain why the hamburger buns were included in the heist. I mean, I could see mixing the ribs with the fried chicken and mashed potatoes, but what in the hell were the hamburger buns for? And where in the hell was the Sweet Baby Ray’s Original Barbecue Sauce?

Police slapped Aguilar-Alvarez with a charge of retail theft and listed the value of the foods he stole at $32.49. Personally, I think that sounds rather low. Either that, or he took everything out of the manager’s special clearance bin.

Vaginas should not be hiding spots: Florida Woman Tries to Steal Brandy by Hiding It in Her Vagina (Slightly NSFW)