Over 16 Million American Adults Think Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows

Photo: Digital Vision (Getty)

Not six-year-olds. Adults.

According to The Washington Post, an embarrassingly large number of American adults seriously think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows, as a recent nationally representative online survey commissioned by the Innovation Center of U.S. Dairy revealed that seven percent of them believe this to be true.

Over 16 Million American Adults Think Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows


We were under the impression that there would be no math on this glorious Friday, so we let The Washington Post team do it. Seven percent of American adults comes out to…wait for it…16.4 million idiots.

Sadly, other agriculture studies suggest the stupidity doesn’t stop there. One survey in the ’90s revealed that “nearly 1 in 5 adults did not know that hamburgers are made from beef.” When other researchers interviewed older elementary school students in California, they found that “more than half of them didn’t know pickles were cucumbers, or that onions and lettuce were plants” while “four in 10 didn’t know that hamburgers came from cows and 3 in 10 didn’t know that cheese is made from milk.”


What does it all mean? Well, let’s put it this way: If somebody skilled in the fields of agriculture and nutrition asks to speak to the students in your classroom, it sounds like you better fucking let them do it.

Find out where your state ranks on the skank-o-meter: A Map of the Sluttiest States in America