Photo: Facebook
2017 proves to be yet another strange year. Porn is playing at D.C. train stations, people are shoving eels up rectums, and evidently if you stab your boyfriend you can walk … as long as you have the brains to become a surgeon.
Thus is allegedly the case for Oxford student, Lavinia Woodward.
The 24-year-old who studied at Christ Church College-Oxford allegedly had an alcohol and drug-fueled argument with her boyfriend on December 30. When the boyfriend — whom she met on Tinder and is believed to be a PhD student at Cambridge University — threatened to call her mother, she stabbed him with a bread knife. But don’t worry, she also threw a laptop at him and punched him in the face.
The punishment for this stabbing? If reports are true, possibly nothing.
Although he allegedly told reporters that such a crime would normally mean prison time, the honorable Judge Ian Pringle deferred Woodward’s sentence until September, allegedly hinting she may not serve jail time because of her “extraordinary” talent.
He said: “It seems to me that if this was a one-off, a complete one-off, to prevent this extraordinarily able young lady from not following her long-held desire to enter the profession she wishes to, would be a sentence which would be too severe.
“What you did will never, I know, leave you but it was pretty awful, and normally it would attract a custodial sentence, whether it is immediate or suspended.”
Photo: Facebook
While she’s had articles published in medical journals, friends and/or colleagues also claim that Woodward could win a Nobel Prize, she “is that bright.” She’s also supposedly planning to return to school come this fall. But even if she does continue through medical school without prison time, can you imagine having a surgeon who once did some drugs and stabbed her lover? Yikes.
Photo: Facebook
Any way you slice it, call it white privilege or the Oxford elite, there’s no question that although she may avoid jail, she will still feel the repercussions from this crime for years to come. However, can we expect that the next stabber to face conviction will receive the same understanding that Woodward received?
In the mean time, Woodward is reportedly “on holiday” in Barbados.
Photo: Facebook
Thanks Judge Pringle. Ya know, ‘once you pop the fun don’t stop.’ And by ‘pop’ we mean stab.
By the way, this is Judge Pringle.
Woodward was given a restraining order, put on probation and will be sentenced on September 25.
We’re also hoping Woodward learns something from Christ Church College.
And here is more bizarre news: Guy Wants To Show His Penis In Court To Prove His Girlfriend Choked During Sex
Josh Helmuth is a contributor for Mandatory and the editor of Crave Sports.
