Best Fake News Story Ever Claims Man Smuggled Chicken McNuggets In Condoms Up His Ass

Photo: Dorann Weber / Contributor (Getty)

I bet those McNuggets would have tasted like shit.

People love their nuggets, that’s why these fast food hacks are so damn great. But guess what? This fake story, just like the man who “killed” his own imaginary friend was too good not to share.

According to Boredom Therapy, a McDonald’s employee named Andy Brown was arrested last month after he smuggled 80 pounds of Chicken McNuggets out of an Ottawa location by…wait for hit…stuffing them into condoms and then cramming said condoms up his ass.

Best Fake News Story Ever Claims Man Smuggled Chicken McNuggets In Condoms Up His Ass

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The story wound up up being first reported by the World News Daily Report, which means it’s about as real as Pamela Anderson’s breasts.

But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t brilliant.

A fake McDonald’s spokesman said that Andy Brown had stolen roughly 80 to 100 pounds of the the popular menu item over the course of nine months, but he wasn’t busted doing so until management installed security cameras that captured Brown jamming the food up his ass to get them out of the “restaurant” without anybody noticing.

Fake Andy was charged with two fake counts of possession of stolen property and five fake counts of petty theft for his “hiney heist.”

This guy punching his clown in a Burger King is actually a true story: Florida Man Arrested For Masturbating Inside A Burger King