Ohio Man Arrested After Having Sex With A Van

Photo: Tim Boyle (Getty)

Yeah, that’s not how you’re supposed to fill ‘er up.

According to The Smoking Gun, a 35-year-old Dayton man was arrested for public indecency Tuesday night after a concerned citizen witnessed him having sex with the front grill of a van parked in a neighbor’s driveway.

Ohio Man Arrested After Having Sex With A Van

Police said Michael Henson was only wearing gym shorts and shoes when they arrived on the scene, and he appeared to be “under the influence of some type of narcotic.”

Let’s hope that was the case because they were responding to a 911 call from a woman who said she saw Henson “pull down his shorts and expose his penis” before “placing” it “in the front grill of the van and humping it as if he was having sex with the van.” He allegedly took the van to pound town “for a while” before stumbling over to a neighbor’s yard and passing out.

The only possible positive spin on the story is that if you are Henson’s dealer, it’s obvious that you are slinging some pretty good shit.

Sometimes when you’re in Ohio, you just want to poop on a van: Ohio ‘Serial Pooper’ Has Defecated On 19 Cars