bad meth
drugs in the form of crystals on a black background, methamphetamine in a plastic bag

Florida Man Arrested After Asking Police To Test His ‘Bad Meth’

drugs in the form of crystals on a black background. Photo: Sanny11 (Getty)

There are certain things you eventually figure out you shouldn’t do in life regardless of whether your parents told you about them. Those include such things as not wiping your ass with your dog, not humping a tiger and not walking through Barstow on purpose.

Unfortunately for a 49-year-old Hawthorne man, his list of bad ideas didn’t include “taking meth he purchased to the cops to get tested.” After doing just that earlier this week, he was arrested and charged with possession of methamphetamine before being walked to jail.

According to The Sacramento Bee, it wasn’t Douglas Peter Kelly’s best idea. Then again, it obviously wasn’t his best meth.

bad meth, Douglas Peter Kelly
Photo: Putnam County Sheriff’s Office

Kelly called the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday and told detectives in the drug unit he wanted them to test his meth. After all, he had a “violent reaction” from smoking it. His belief was he was sold the wrong narcotic, and if police could prove it was something other than meth, then he wanted to press charges against his dealer.

Astonishingly, there are still worse ideas: Florida Man Gets Third DUI At McDonald’s Drive-Thru Then Tries To Prove He’s Sober By Doing A Cartwheel

Naturally, detectives told Kelly to come on down to their office for a free test. The good news was the “clear, crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil” he had tested turned out to be meth, indeed.

The bad news? You guessed it — he’s an idiot and was arrested for being in possession of meth. Case closed.