Mandatory Dance Battle: Who’s Worse, Elaine Benes vs. President Trump?
Few have had such a memorable onscreen dance as Elaine Benes on Seinfeld. In the iconic fourth-season episode dubbed “The Little Kicks,” Elaine busts a move at a company party – much to the horror of her colleagues.
That whacky dance wasn’t the only time Elaine got her groove on during the series, though. In fact, she was quite the mover and shaker throughout the sitcom’s run. That’s not to say she was any good at dancing, just that she seemed to do it often.
But that was the ‘90s. Today’s most notorious bad dancer is President Trump. His moves are eerily similar to Elaine’s at times, and appear at the most unexpected moments.
We simply had to pit these two against one another in a Mandatory Dance Battle. Let’s find out who’s the worse dancer – Elaine or Trump?
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Elaine contorts her ankles so much, it almost looks like she's double-jointed -- or bending them in directions they weren't meant to go. Trump rarely gets his feet involved in the dance; it's all about the arms for him.
Elaine goes above and beyond jazz hands. Hell, her hands are practically the driving force of her dances. Trump only has one hand move -- the double-fisted, man-baby Cabbage Patch.
Hair has a lot to do with what makes a great dancer, and Elaine simply has more of it to throw around. It really adds to the visual appeal of her dancing. Trump's hair just makes us think of dead animals and does nothing to enhance his performance.
You don't even need to hear the music to know that Elaine can keep a beat. Trump doesn't strike us as a music lover. He bops to his own beat, which is about as sophisticated as a children's song.
Elaine is too much of a force of nature for partner dancing to slow jams. Trump, despite (or perhaps because of) his heft, is superior at the slow dance.
Sure, a middle-aged woman going wild at a company party gives us pause, but there's something truly terrifying about an old white guy trying to get down.
Come on. No contest.
When Elaine dances, people stop and stare, mouths agape. When Trump dances, people lower their heads and quietly back away.
Eww. We know. No one wants to think of Trump having sex, but if this GIF is any indication, his moves have garnered him attention from the opposite sex in the past. We can't say the same for Elaine. Dudes mostly seem afraid of her after seeing her dance.
Elaine has seemingly endless dance moves. She can channel all styles of dance, like this flamenco-looking number. Trump's dancing repertoire is sorely limited.
Elaine knows how to let loose. The joy radiates off of her when she dances. Trump always looks stiff, like if he moves too much, he'll poop himself.
We could watch Elaine dance all day. Hell, if she were a real person, she'd inspire us to hit the dance floor and do the most awkward choreography we could come up with, no shame. Trump's attempts at dancing just make us sad...and a little sick to our stomachs. So when it comes to which of these two is the worse dancer, declaring a "winner" (which is really the biggest loser) is easy.
Overall Winner: Trump
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