The Mandatory Jim Carrey Guide to Wearing ‘The Mask’ Correctly in Public During a Pandemic
For some, wearing a face mask correctly in public isn’t complicated. For others, it still is. This can be chalked up to denial, fear, oppositional messages, and the resulting confusion—there’s no denying the fact that the coronavirus pandemic has somehow become an international (mostly national) identity crisis (of sorts). And if there’s one person familiar with this kind of mask-centric madness, it’s Jim Carrey aka Stanely Ipkiss in the 1994 comedy classic The Mask.
If you follow Carrey on social media, you know he supports limiting the spread of COVID-19 via mug masking. We’re pretty sure Mr. Ipkiss would be on the same page. Wasn’t that whole movie a metaphor for the relationship between masks and public safety? While Ipkiss’ mask sometimes had a less-than-ideal effect on himself and those around him, he’d be in favor of the non-spontaneous dance kind. That said, Mask Wearing 101 is a class being taught everywhere and by everyone, and if you haven’t passed it yet, surely you can with the help of Professor Ipkiss and The Mask.
Cover Photo: New Line Cinema
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Ignore conflicting messages.
It's not a metaphor. Don't mock the mask. Sure, there are all sorts of different messages floating around from people in positions of authority to the point where credibility feels lost...but there’s enough factual data to back the fact that, well, people are getting sick. A mask will prevent you and others from getting sick as well. Plain and simple. Do you think condoms are a myth? Protection is and remains the only message worth listening to. And fuck validation from those that incoherently belittle logic.
If you're not wearing one, you're a rebel without a cause.
What are you trying to prove? That you’re in control? That no one can tell you what to do? Perhaps you’re in denial, refusing to believe that the severity of the situation is as advertised. 'Cause hey, even if you don’t wear a mask, the people who do decide to wear one are protected from you, right? It’s your decision and you have a right to put yourself at risk. Sure. Except you’re not just putting yourself at risk. You could have COVID-19 and be asymptomatic, cough, and those droplets can still get on a surface, hand, or someone else’s mask. Masks aren’t perfect. Wearing one increases the success rate of all the masks around you. So, be a team player. You are potentially harming others.
Uh...put it on?
This is the only question on the final exam you need to get correct. Determine which side of the mask is the top and which is the bottom, then put the loops over your ears (the bendy part goes over your nose and the white side touches your face…). It’s not that hard. Once it’s on, the plot thickens and you’re ready to seek revenge on your mechanic or rob a bank (whatever you do in public).
Make sure it covers your mouth AND nose.
Do you understand how breathing works? We’ve all seen those people wearing masks that only cover their mouths. In addition to these morons are the ones who cut holes around their cake holes so they can eat, drink, and breathe better. That completely defeats the purpose of wearing a mask at all. The education system has failed them.
Wear a mask when in close contact with someone who doesn’t live with you/isn’t a family member.
Sorry, Cameron Diaz. It pains us to say this, but we don’t know where you’ve been.
No it's not.
You still want to practice social distancing. Injecting yourself into crowds of people at the local Coco Bongo increases your chances of infection (especially if you’re drinking). Let’s be honest, anyone who goes to a bar or nightclub right now periodically takes their mask off to catch a buzz, basically defeating the purpose of wearing one. It’s not a stretch to label this way of wearing a mask in public as incorrect.
Educate others (without creating conflict).
Can we just be nice to each other? Why all this fighting over face wear?
Don’t share your mask with others.
It’s not a hat. Don’t share your hat either. Actually, don’t share any piece of apparel right now, especially not a mask. You might as well be making out with Bryce Dallas Howard's character from The Help after she ate that shit pie. Also, your germs could infect them, or worse, turn them into a powerful antagonist.
Side note: It doesn’t actually impede your breathing as much as people seem to think.
The only people that might experience trouble breathing in a mask are the elderly and small children. Also, no, face masks cannot cause carbon dioxide poisoning. You’d never be able to exhale enough of it.
There's freedom in wearing a mask (or at least there will be).
Similarly to how Stanley Ipkiss accepted his circumstances and allowed himself to just be at the end of The Mask, so can you. We all want this pandemic to pass. Regardless of the various conspiracy theories and unknowns, there’s no way wearing a mask can worsen the situation. Not wearing one can. Accept it and live your life as responsibly as you can: don't reuse masks or touch your face while wearing one, and wash your hands.
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