No one’s better practiced at the art of saying what they want than
Larry David. The genius behind Curb Your Enthusiasm has a strong opinion on everything and believes it’s his right to let you know what that is. The brilliance of this stance is that he doesn’t care if you get upset. Every episode, he manages to shove his foot down his own throat with the elegance of a prima ballerina. And with a little practice, so can you. Turns out, anyone can be the kind of asshole who blurts out what’s on their mind. However, if you’re a little shy about taking the reigns, you need the Larry David guide to saying everything you want without giving a damn.
Photo: HBO How Larry David can you get when it comes to expressing what’s on your mind? Let us know in the comments!
Follow on Mandatory Facebook , Twitter , and Instagram .
Larry David Guide To Saying Anything
The Alternative Is Feeling Dead Inside
Once you start living your truth, you realize that everything you knew about life was a lie, especially the part where you pretend to care what other people say.
Just in Case, Be Quick With an Apology
Sometimes, the easiest way to say something obtuse is to immediately apologize for it. Just accept that you're not apologizing because you're sorry; you're apologizing so the conversation ends.
Accept That Nobody Else Matters
One of the easiest ways to comfortably say the insane things that come into your head is to accept that you don't care about others. At all. And that's OK because if you did, you might have to deal with how stupid they are.
It's a Force Field From Having to Listen to Stupid People
The quickest way to end a conversation with an idiot is to say the honest truth in a black and white way. Most people don't even know how to respond. They stammer, then walk away. And everyone knows that's a win, which you deserve because you're smarter.
Anything Else Is Living a Lie
Secretly, you've always known that you're not like everyone else. You're special, as are your opinions. Your outlandish opinion must be expressed or you're simply not living your truth.
Understand That Deep Down There's a Rage Monster...Waiting
Your truth might be offensive, but what's more offensive is the person you turn into when you're holding back. in fact, think of all the most horrible stuff you've ever said. Bet you did it in a fit of rage. Had you simply been vomiting up your opinion like your hero Larry David, you could have prevented someone from being hurt.
If Not You, Then Who Will Speak the Truth?
Behold this sobering reality: if you're not the person speaking their truth, then who is? Right now the world is filled with sheep and your special opinions are a necessary evil to balance out the force.