The Jesse Pinkman Guide For the Appropriate Time to Call Another Man a Bitch
Breaking Bad was one of the best television shows ever made. The story of a high school chemistry teacher turned meth cook has resonated with nearly everyone, because everyone hates authority. At the core of every rebel is a dream or a goal and Walter White‘s goal was to go out on top. He wanted to make enough money before he died to set his family up while simultaneously giving a middle finger to everyone who ever doubted him.
Jesse Pinkman‘s dream was similar; the fun-loving wangster just wanted to be taken seriously. He did this by calling anyone and everything a bitch. He did so with pride and conviction whenever the world, or in most cases, a man, told him no. This aspect of his character made the show all the more entertaining. As El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie approaches, so does another Pinkman utterance of “bitch.” As we anticipate the return of Aaron Paul’s character and his catchphrase, here’s a usage guide for the appropriate time to call another man a bitch.
Cover Photo: American Movie Classics (AMC)
Together again: Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston Ditch Blue Meth For Smoky Mezcal
First, realize it's never a term of endearment.
The exchange of the word "bitch" between men is a savage ritual. Women can and do call each other "bitch" in modern society as a form of empowerment. They've taken this word that men have thrown like battle axes and turned it into a compliment. This will never be the case between men. Know what you're getting into when calling another man a bitch. Make sure you're pissed enough to embrace your status as a pig in a pig pen and prepare to get dirty.
Use it when you mean to imply ownership.
While bitch can be used to offend, it can also (more effectively) be used to get inside someone's head. Calling someone a bitch from a standpoint of superiority marks them as under your control.
Use it when you want to add emphasis.
There's no need to push it...however, you can't help yourself, you pause, and you say the one word desperate to escape your pie-hole. Bitch.
Use it when your boss is being a dick.
If you really want someone to understand how little you care about their rules or regulations, call them a bitch after equating them with a notorious dictator.
Use it when your employees are slacking.
You don't need to tell someone they're your bitch when they already know it. You'll utter the word just to get their attention, shake them out of apathy, and get to work.
Use it when you haven't cleaned up in awhile.
And your basement is a meth lab.
It can also convey urgency, or as a verb it can express displeasure.
Perhaps you've been working all day and your biggest concern in the moment is hydration. Well, then, in a phrase like "Gatorade me, bitch," bitch serves as a quasi-exclamation mark. On the other hand, if you wish to "bitch" about the task at hand, say, "This activity is a real bitch. I could sure use a Gatorade." The more likely scenario is that the guy you're working with hasn't done shit all day and that bitch should go get you a Gatorade.
Use it when you're giving good advice.
The dictionary's definition of a bitch is a female dog, wolf, fox or otter, but no one's afraid of an otter.
Use it when money is tight.
We've all gone to extreme lengths to get paid.
Use it when all you want is a cigarette.
It's totally appropriate when some bitch nurse politely tells you that you need to be 20 feet from the door in order to smoke. Polite doesn't cut it and zero fucks are given.
Use it when you're impressed by an inanimate objects.
When it's not directed at anyone in particular, it's just a word. Have some fun with it. There doesn't need to even be any context for it; this is a bitch, that's a bitch, bitch, bitch, and bitch.
Use it when life gets confusing.
You're wondering if the practice of calling another man a bitch is archaic, bigoted, and misogynistic...