RANKED! The 10 Best G-Rated Fall Drinks
Damn. Summer made us thirsty. But what are the best autumn beverages to quench our lingering thirst during that special time of year when the days grow shorter, the temperatures begin to drop, and our bodies rebel against the business-as-usual chains clamped around the free-spirited shapes of summer? We’ve ranked the best and most coveted seasonal drinks to help sweep away the autumnal blues with the lap of a tongue.
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10. Oat Milk Latte
We're all about a cozy hug in a mug, and with oat milk suddenly becoming more popular than Jesus (we're looking at you Oatly and Planet Oat), this delightful drink squeaks onto the list at No. 10. Aside from cow's milk, nothing froths up better than a cup of tears collected from a factory of crying oat orphans.
9. Cardamom Coffee
Spruce up that cup of joe with the third most expensive spice in the world. You guessed it, cardamom adds that earthy, bittersweet flavor that pairs perfectly with your 10-minute morning zen time, as you inhale the sweet aroma of dead leaves and quietly die inside at the thought of the impending winter chill threatening to blow in from the north.
8. Marshmallow Chai
This unconventional drink is a real treat that will leave you dreaming of marshmallows (even when the world depends on you having a blank mind). Brew up a bit of chai, add your favorite twist, and combine them with a thick marshmallow fluff milk blend that will leave your face smothered in white froth like one of those milk ads from the '90s.
7. Green Smoothie
Here comes a curveball. While feelings of autumnal bliss conjure up thoughts of steamy, hand-warming beverages, take advantage of the bountiful harvest time to blend yourself a fresh green smoothie. Spinach, kale, apples, lemon, celery, and more can all be shoved into your Ninja and chopped into a gorgeous puree that will leave your insides glowing.
6. Peanut Butter Milkshake
To be honest, dark days and gloomy weather can be a little depressing. Cure your SADs (even just for five minutes), by sucking down a banana and peanut butter milkshake topped with whipped cream. We all know you're coming down from a summer spent gorging on ice cream, so think of this as a way to ween off the hard stuff.
5. Grey and Foggy
There's something about the smell of a fresh cup of Earl Grey with a touch of bergamot that warms the soul. Take it one step further by marrying that feeling with the cloud-kiss lip-tingle of a foamy latte. Just add the steamed milk to your strong English tea, and voilá! You're the king of the world for about 12 ounces.
4. Sparkling Arnold Palmer
Who knew the game of golf would be so important? Not only has it done wonders for the art of lawn management, it helped produce one of the finest drinks known to man. And while the Arnold Palmer is often a spring/summer fling, its beauty transcends the mere seasons of the earth. Jazz it up with French sparkling lemonade or a twist of apple, pomegranate, and more. The sky's the limit with this subtly sweet nectar that just keeps on giving.
3. Mexican Hot Chocolate
Dreary and bleary rhyme for a reason. Snap out of the funk with the one-two punch of Mexican hot chocolate. The thick, muddy slurp of a strong cup will both comfort you and mainline a little pep into your step like an old friend bringing you a warm blanket and rail of cocaine on a cold and dreary day.
2. Pumpkin Spice Latte
Some drinks rise above the realm of mortals, inspiring a cult-like devotion from a legion of fanatics that is frightening to behold. To all who worship at the altar of pumpkin spice latte, we award your ambrosia second place on the list of best fall beverages. Second place may anger thee, but just keep in mind, PSL disgusts everyone else but you.
1. Apple Cider
Nothing screams "end of summer" like apple cider. Hot or cold, it flows like a river when the harvest comes. You will likely be offered it several times in the next few months (and turn it down every single time) because this ubiquitous fall drink is not really that good. But Big Apple Cider still carries a lot of weight in this town and threatened us with a lifetime supply if we didn't give them first place. And there you have it.